#yes I know that this would be unethical in many ways but in this hypothetical impossible situation I’m being selfish lmao

[nicksstrongrugbyarms]

Yes AI is scary and it’s kind of making the internet a worse place and blah blah yada yada

But is it unreasonable of me to want AI to one day have the ability to create an entire feature length film adaption of the fan fiction, Twist and Shout, using the likeness of Karla era Misha Collins, and Spn season 1 Jensen Ackles????

Am I truly asking too much???? I will pay anything????? Name your price??????

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

🎵 Evrart’s Theme

3. "Interesting stuff. I just want to solve this murder, okay?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "You know why you're such a good detective, Harry? You don't get *sidetracked*. You care about the people you're supposed to protect, not some systems that may or may not be unethical."

"Anyway, let's not focus on the sensationalism of the drug trade. This hypothetical drug trade is all anyone ever seems to be interested in. It would only be a small part of the Harbour's turnover -- just like the harbour is but a small part of Martinaise."

"It would still be illegal."

"So is there a trade or isn't there?"

"Go on."

Say nothing.

EVRART CLAIRE - "Let's look at the big picture. Martinaise as a whole. There are little girls out there with dreams of making music. Young mothers who want to start businesses. Models who want to walk catwalks and steel welders who want to weld steel."

"I'm gonna unite them all into one economic body. We're gonna incorporate this place to kingdom come. Everyone's gonna be in on the wealth. And *everyone's* gonna pull their weight."

+5 XP

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - Let's keep focusing on the drug trade. He was almost admitting to it.

"Hold on, I don't want to look at the big picture. I want to look at the drug trade you almost admitted to."

"Well, I mean, if it has the word *incorporate* in it, then I like it. I'm a money-guy."

"That's very ambitious. I love what you're doing for the working man."

"I'm not feeling a whole lot of *Revachol* here. Not enough flags or kings."

"Honestly, it's not my place to judge or express an opinion."

EVRART CLAIRE - "No, no, Harry. That's boring." He sighs. "Alright, it's gone! The hypothetical raw materials trade is off the table. It's such a small and insignificant slice of revenue, I'm cutting it."

"Boys…" He looks around the container. "Harry felt queasy about it. We're not doing it. Can we talk about my beautiful incorporated Martinaise and its many-sided business ventures now? This bold new vision of incorporated socialism I'm offering?"

2. "That's very ambitious. I love what you're doing for the working man."

+1 Communism

EVRART CLAIRE - "Thank you, Harry, thank you." He bows courteously in his chair. "You have no idea how much it means to me, because in many ways *you* are that working man. You have already done so much work."

6. "Can I ask you about specific union members?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "We're way past *specific* Union members now. This is the Big Time." His eyes are shining. "We're talking about the future of Revachol here, Harry."

"You can bother Leonard with that." He points to the door. "He loves to run his mouth on such matters. But I'm in Big-Time mode, Harry."

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - There's something different about him now. He's more vibrant. More alive in his 'Big-Time mode'.

7. "Can I get my gun now?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "Harry, I've got to be honest with you." He turns solemn. "Your gun was found two days ago. Withholding this information weighed heavily on me. But it had to be done."

"You bastard!"

"Fine, where is it?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "Your gun is with an old woman," he says, absolutely unperturbed by your outburst. "I hear she's a character, so watch out."

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - This must be the woman who bought the gun from Roy, the one he described as "terrifying."

"So the gun's still with the woman who bought it from Roy..."

EVRART CLAIRE - "Yes, the same one -- I see you've done your research. The pawnshop made the gun easy to track..." He smiles and shakes his head in wonderment. "Crazy stuff, Harry. Selling your gun like that! Wild. Anyway..."

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - Union boys are gonna help you *fix* it, he winks at you. Don't worry Harry.

EVRART CLAIRE - "...the neighbours of this old woman contacted my men, because they trust me and the Débardeurs Union. Apparently she was waving it around at the entrance to her building."

HALF LIGHT [Easy: Success] - Waving the gun around doesn't sound good. None of this does.

"She was waving it around at people?"

"Who *is* this old woman?"

"Can you set up a meeting?" (Conclude.)

EVRART CLAIRE - "As I said she's a character. I didn't have time for details." He smiles. "It sounds like she's unstable, but don't worry. No one got hurt."

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - It sounds like a very disturbed and desperate individual.

2. "Who *is* this old woman?"

EVRART CLAIRE - "Unfortunately, I don't know any more. You're gonna have to go in blind, Harry. But she's an old lady -- how dangerous can she possibly be? Oh, and she calls herself the Pigs."

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - There it is again -- *the pigs*, like Roy said. Not good at all.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I, for one, find it refreshing. Finally someone calls *themselves* a pig." A smile flickers in the corner of his mouth.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - It actually sounds extremely bad, but let's not give him the satisfaction.

3. "Can you set up a meeting?" (Conclude.)

EVRART CLAIRE - "I already have!" He holds out his index finger. "Tonight, starting 22.00. Near the old fish market on the coast -- the one on the boardwalk, a little past the fishing village. Be careful, Harry. I would never set you up for anything dangerous, but you *did* ask for this. Now..." He claps his hands. "Back to the fun stuff."

New task: Confront the Pigs and get your gun back

INLAND EMPIRE [Trivial: Success] - She will be there. From 22.00 till 02.00.

KIM KITSURAGI - "More fun stuff..." He looks at you. "Seems like we already have fun stuff to do."

8. "That's it for now." (Conclude.)

EVRART CLAIRE - "Great, Harry, great! I think we have truly built a bridge between Martinaise and Jamrock today. We have united the RCM and the Débardeurs' Union..." Suddenly there's sadness in his tone.

"This..." He points to you, then himself. "... has been *so* great. I'm sorry we don't have more fun things to do together, but if you ever feel like bouncing something off me, my door is always open."

5. "Evrart, I'm going to leave now, but we might talk again later." [Leave.]

THOUGHT COMPLETE: COP OF THE APOCALYPSE

BONUSES: Learning cap for Inland Empire raised to 6 Learning cap for Shivers raised to 6

It's not fire. It's not ash. There will most certainly be a sea of corpses leading up to the Event, but it won't be war or pestilence that causes it, oh no. The Event will belong to a genre of cataclysm no man has dared to suspect would ever come to pass. You can only sense the *shape* of it. Like a cavity, a pit opening up in your stomach. A throat into which the world will vanish. The streets, the grass, the stars -- all will be *rolled back*. By whom, by what? And how? You don't know. All you know is -- you’re not joking around.

🎵 Martinaise, Terminal B

Evrart told us to talk to Leo in order to find out more about the Union members.

EASY LEO - "Oh hey, mister! I knew you'd be back to talk with old Leo here, yes I did, yes I did. It's like Lady Leriche said when she opened a bath house in the basement of my apartment building: *They can only get so far before they're aching to get back*. And lot of folks really did keep coming back..."

"Leo, Leo... in the future, can we keep this greeting shorter?"

"I had some questions for you, if that's not too much trouble?"

EASY LEO - "Sure, mister, absolutely -- I'm always willing to help out nice fellows such as yourself." He smiles his disarming smile and looks you deep in the eye.

6. "Leo, you seem to know everyone around here, I want to ask about someone."

EASY LEO - "Mr. Evrart doesn't really want me to talk to people about Union guys..." He thinks for a moment. "But who did you want to talk about?"

"Tell me about this Edgar guy you keep mentioning?"

"Tell me about Mañana."

"Tell me about Measurehead."

"Tell me about Titus."

"Tell me about Evrart."

"Tell me about René."

"Actually I wanna talk about something else."

EASY LEO - "Mr. Edgar is Mr. Evrart's brother. He's looks a bit younger, he does, but a very smart fellow, very smart fellow indeed. He's away on some Union business... Not even in Revachol, they say..."

"Let me stop you there, Leo, I had another question."

Don't interrupt Leo.

EASY LEO - "All kinds of places he visits. Him and his brother both do when they're on a vacation. Right now it's Mr. Evrart's turn to look after the Union, but last year he spent a whole winter in South Safre." He chuckles.

"Left with the first autumn rains and didn't come back before the trees were green again." The little guy chuckles again.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Success] - South Safre? A lot of *bulk* chemical manufacturing going on there. A lot of cargo shipments being made too.

REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success] - The trade must've been lucrative for the trip to be so long.

2. "Tell me about Mañana."

EASY LEO - "He's a Union man through and through. Good guy." He falls silent, hesitating. "He's very calm... laid back. Doesn't do much. Talks to Evrart sometimes."

"Honestly. I don't know *what* he does for us, but it must be important because everybody likes him. Yes, they do. I think that's what he does, he makes everyone feel a little better."

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - Oil for the wheels. Much needed in stressful times like these.

3. "Tell me about Measurehead."

EASY LEO - "Ohh, he's really something..." The little man starts laughing. "He doesn't talk much to me usually, but when he does... I don't really understand most of what he's saying..." He suddenly falls quiet. "Actually, I don't think he would like me running my mouth about him like that."

"Once he said he's a *dragon* to this mob fellow who came picking a fight with some Union men. Heh, I think he really believed Jean-Luc *was* a dragon, because he ran right off. Another time he almost killed another guy, but... I shouldn't talk about that."

4. "Tell me about Titus."

EASY LEO - "Oh, Titus is a longshoreman through and through, he was born on a boat, they say." The little man rubs a patch on his elbow. "His veins are probably filled with saltwater I tell you, hehehe -- nice friendly sort old Titus is."

5. "Tell me about Evrart."

EASY LEO - "Uh... I'd best not... I mean I could, but I don't think Mr. Evrart would like it very much, you better ask him yourself, mister." If anything the ever present smile on Leo's face gets even warmer.

6. "Tell me about René."

EASY LEO - "The night guard? He was a peculiar fellow. Headstrong and proud. We didn't really talk all that much." The little guy looks you in the eye. "He died recently. Somethink with his ticker..."

7. "Actually I wanna talk about something else."

EASY LEO - "Uh... sure, mister, what can Leo do for you?" The expression on his wrinkled face says *I really want to help you*.

7. "Okay, I'm off." [Leave.]

Thanks, Leo. Let's head back into Martinaise.

Three Ts! How idiomatic!

🎵 Instrument of Surrender

CUNO - "Fuck does Cuno care?" The boy turns to you. (He doesn't care.)

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about any missing locusts?"

CUNO - "No. Cuno doesn't give a fuck about bugs."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - So he knows locusts are bugs.

CUNOESSE - "Oh my god." The little one seems distraught. "I told you that shit is lame!"

CUNO - "Shut up, C!"

CUNOESSE - "Now they're gonna take you to lame-prison!"

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - She sounds like she's about to cry out of disappointment at Cuno's newfound lameness.

"What's this about?"

"Now hold on, no one is lame here... just tell me what happened?"

"You kids are in trouble."

CUNOESSE - "Deny everything, Cuno! You need to lawyer up!"

CUNO - "Cuno's not gonna say anything without his lawyer present."

REACTION SPEED [Easy: Success] - There's definitely something going on here. Remember his pigs' head shack? You should check it out.

4. "Okay, I'm off." [Leave.]

CUNO - "Cuno doesn't fucking care."

It's crawling with locusts in here!

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - All around you, the hisses and chirps of locusts fill the musky air. The earthen floor of the shack has been shaped into mounds of mud dotted with little holes for windows.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - Like skyscrapers, spires of dirt and sand rising. Accommodations for their insectoid inhabitants?

KIM KITSURAGI - "Well, detective, it appears you've solved the case..." The lieutenant looks around, writes something in his notebook, and turns to you...

"Of the locusts. For the missing locust case, which is a sub-case of the imaginary insect case. So at least *that's* going well."

"Yes, precisely what I was thinking!"

"Stop being so sarcastic, Kim."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Oh, I'm not being sarcastic *at all*. We are making *real* progress here."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - When someone says they're not being sarcastic, it's usually a good sign that they're being *very* sarcastic.

"You think the Insulindian phasmid is nearby?"

"We should talk to Cuno about this. Get him to stop." [Leave.]

KIM KITSURAGI - "If anything, the presence of the locusts points to the opposite -- the phasmid did not take the bait from the traps. It was Cuno. The phasmid doesn't exist..."

He shrugs. "But what do I know?"

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - Use your powers of deduction! You knew the magic bug was nowhere near here. The phasmid is impairing your judgement.

2. "We should talk to Cuno about this. Get him to stop." [Leave.]

KIM KITSURAGI - "I'll let you handle the Cuno side of things. You're doing just fine."

CUNO - "Fuck does Cuno care?" The boy turns to you. (He doesn't care.)

"I know you took the locusts from the traps the cryptozoologists set up."

CUNO - "Yeah," he says slowly, meeting your gaze with sullen defiance. "Cuno took the bugs. So what?"

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - So it wasn't the phasmid... a wave of disappointment washes over you.

"I was really hoping it would be the reed-phasmid that ate the locusts. Not you, Cuno.“

"You say you don't *give a fuck about bugs*, then you go and build a whole bug town."

"Why steal locusts? Couldn't you find some other pets?"

CUNO - "Yeah, well... Cuno's all you got, bitch."

"You say you don't *give a fuck about bugs*, then you go and build a whole bug town."

CUNO - "It's not Bug Town, it's the *City of Locusts*," he says, enunciating every syllable. "Locusts aren't just bug-shit. They come out of the sky like a fucking shadow. Shit *descends*."

CUNOESSE - "Stoooooop!" she wails from behind the fence, then buries her face in her hands.

CUNO - "You stop! It's like they're fucking *night*. Locust City, Night City. City of Rage..."

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - There's a tug-of-war over the name of his fantastical city. It's almost too big for his imagination.

CUNOESSE - The girl forces herself to watch again, the corners of her eyes twitching from discomfort.

"City of Rage sounds like a cool place."

"What are you, some kind of *artist* now?"

"Whatever, kids, I just wanted to ask…"

CUNOESSE - "Cuno, the pig wants to *help* you..." she moans. "That's how lame it is. Please just don't say you're --"

CUNO - "An *artist*?" He pushes his chest out. "Maybe I *am* an artist? You hear that everyone, I'm a fucking *artist* now."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Did he just say *I*? Cuno usually calls Cuno Cuno.

"Hold on, did I hear you right? You said 'I'."

(Nod.) "Making art is a worthy calling. I'm something of an artist myself."

"You should listen to your friend, Cuno. Art's lame as hell."

CUNO - "Cuno made Cuno. Cuno says whatever the fuck he wants! There are no *rules* here, pig." He steps closer...

"I fucking say 'I' when I wanna and 'Cuno' when I wanna. Cuno's free. Cuno's free to fucking *die*, bitch."

RHETORIC - This is what he sometimes does when things get tense.

(Nod.) "Making art is a worthy calling. I'm something of an artist myself."

CUNOESSE - "OH MY GOD, CUNO! He's gonna make you totally lame in, like, three seconds! Don't let him, Cuno!"

CUNO - "Yo, fuck you, C. Cuno can be what Cuno wants to be. Cuno's his own man, Cuno's *free*!" He tears at the buttons of his shirt, trying to rip them open. They don't give way.

"Cuno made himself into Cuno. Cuno can make himself into *anything*. Cuno can make himself into a *pig* if he wants, Cuno can make himself into a f****t. Cuno doesn't give a shit."

CUNOESSE - "Don't make yourself into a pig, Cuno. You'll have to take me away..." A leaden silence fills the yard.

PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Medium: Success] - In it, you hear snow melting, dripping from the eaves. Someone closing a window.

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - So that's what this is about.

"That depends on the choices *you* make, young girl."

"Me and Cuno have discussed this. I promised I won't do that."

Say nothing.

We *did* promise Cuno.

CUNOESSE - "I don't believe you!" She disappears entirely behind the fence.

CUNO - For once, the boy is lost for words. He's turned completely red now, with splotches of white beginning to appear across his face.

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - Use this momentary confusion to take *control* of the situation.

"I need you to stop taking locusts from the traps. The cryptozoologists are trying to find something very important. Those locusts are bait."

"I have to ask -- what does the City of Locusts *mean*?"

"What's going to happen to the locusts?" (Nod toward the shack.)

"Okay, now that that's settled, I'd better be off." (Conclude.)

CUNO - "I don't give a shit, I don't need the locusts anyway. Shit is all lame now." He turns toward the fence. "C was right."

CUNOESSE - The girl's face appears again above the fence, just long enough to make eye contact with Cuno.

2. "I have to ask -- what does the City of Locusts *mean*?"

CUNO - "It don't mean anything. It's shit. Cuno just likes to focus. Cuno likes to concentrate on shit, build shit when he's zipping hard. Fuck..." He turns his burning face up to the falling snow.

"Pig," he says finally, lowering his gaze to meet yours, "you really shouldn't have fucked with Cuno's city. Now it's all fucking lame."

3. "What's going to happen to the locusts?" (Nod toward the shack.)

CUNO - "Cuno's gonna let the fucking locusts die."

4. "Okay, now that that's settled, I'd better be off." (Conclude.)

CUNO - "The fuck are they trying to catch anyway?" he asks before you leave. "With the traps?"

"The Insulindian phasmid."

"None of your business." [Leave.]

CUNO - "Huh..." he mutters to himself.

RHETORIC [Easy: Success] - He recognizes the name.

"Wait, you know what the Insulindian phasmid is?"

"Later, Cuno."

CUNO - "Bitches think Cuno doesn't *know* shit..." he says angrily. "The fuck outta here, Cuno's tired of this shit."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - There's silence between the two children. They're not saying anything to each other nor looking in each other's direction.

Augh. Well, I guess the next step of this is to deliver the bad news to Lena and Morell.

Before that, though, while we're here...

CONCEPTUALIZATION - The paintbrush in your hand is like a loaded revolver. What will it be, desperado? Quite a few things come to mind...

[cultivating-wildflowers]

What do you think of the pro life families who used IVF?

(sorry it took me a while to answer this. I had to sit on it for a spell and decide how detailed I wanted to get in my answer, and then that other ask popped up yesterday and I guess I'm in the mood to talk now)

I'll start by saying I have no intention of vilifying either the well-intentioned couples who have pursued IVF in the past or the many people who were conceived via IVF. It's a complex issue and there are a lot of emotions involved. I am in no way an expert on the subject and honestly, sometimes my answer is just "I don't know".

That said, I'm generally with the Catholics on this one. If a couple truly is pro-life and believes life begins at conception, and if they have been responsible and done their research, then they absolutely should not utilize IVF. Yes, even if they are as thorough as can be and don't allow for "extra" embryos to be created. (Not to dig out my tinfoil hat here, but who's to say the IVF clinic people would even bother to respect their wishes? We all know the total lack of transparency surrounding egg and sperm donation, donor conception, IVF, and surrogacy. We all know the horrible things that have happened behind closed doors. Do not get me started on egg and sperm donation.)

IVF in general, like surrogacy, needs to be done away with, not least because it would (hopefully) force doctors to actually address fertility issues instead. It's a horrible, predatory practice that creates so many victims and is the definition of unethical. It is way too easy to abuse. Children and families deserve better.

If your question is more about couples who have used IVF in the past and...moved on?...with their lives? That's where I move into "I personally don't know" territory. My heart says they still have a responsibility to any embryos--any of their children--who were left behind. Full transparency: I don't know what that looks like, realistically. There are a lot of factors at play. And I have no doubt that addressing this would uncover a lot of horrible secrets people do not want to acknowledge.

One hypothetical solution of late has been artificial wombs but, again, that could be a solution that solves one problem and creates a dozen more. If I think surrogacy and IVF are predatory and abusive, I can't even begin to name all of the ways artificial wombs could be used for horrible purposes.

From this point, if the next question is, "So you think couples who can't conceive naturally shouldn't try other ways to have biological kids?" my answer is "Yes." I don't mean to be harsh, but yes, if they honestly have no other options, if they have pursued every other route and they all lead to dead ends, then I'm sorry, but they have to accept that biological children are not in the cards for them. It's not the end of the world, though I know it can feel like it. Infertility is a horrible situation. I hate it. But--and knowing this sounds cold-hearted--that's life. There are places to go from here (and I do not mean the donor-conceived route). Heck, look into embryo adoption!

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker, Episode 140

Welcome to the penultimate Wizard Breakdown Tracker: Four Resurrections and an Ass-Kicking.

When I first started this, I declared my intent was to do this until the comeuppance of Trent Ikithon. That may not happen, so, while I may revive it for hypothetical future one-shots centered specifically around the comeuppance of Trent Ikithon, this tracker will otherwise unsurprisingly end with the campaign next week, with the final statuses of all or at least most of these wizards. Also, for some advance notice, it will almost certainly be delayed until Sunday night.

But this week we are still primarily focusing on the wizard NPC of the Nein. Is he, technically speaking, counted among the Mighty Nein such that any breakdowns induced in him by the Mighty Nein have a self-inflicted component? Yes. Is this unique to Essek's situation, by any means? No.

As a reminder Caleb Widogast is a PC and therefore not included.

Currently sidelined: Ludinus Da'leth, Trent Ikithon, Astrid Beck, the Wulf of Wall Street, Pumat Sol, Oremid Hass, Allura Vyesoren, Yussa Errenis.

Lady Vess Derogna: there is a very high likelihood this may be my primary sendoff for her. So: to Vess. We hardly knew you, which is a little disappointing in that I love watching evil women who are committed in their indifference to anything but their goals, and I would personally watch a campaign that was literally just slowly dismantling the Cerberus Assembly provided there was also some combat and romance on the side, but Lucien is, indeed, the worst.

As the red eyes on her body have disappeared, it's gonna be a little awkward for the Nein to explain that no, she actually was a doomsday cultist to an entity they have since killed. [sidebar: my guess is the Magic Eye Book got swallowed by the city as well, which in unfortunate because I would have like to have watched the Dynasty see THAT particular sailboat. It's no "dunamancy existed and still worked fine, even better, for those who wanted to kill the gods", but it's still in Undercommon and I still expect it will put them in a very uncomfortable place.]

I do wonder what her afterlife has been like. The neutral evil outer planes do not seem like a great time, but honestly if I were her I'd probably be lying on the ground in Gehenna right now, looking up into the ash-strewn sky like "you know...I could have done better than Lucien, that fucking hack." Or perhaps "well, at least for me it was quick, and, blood from the eyes aside, at least I did not die a horrifying monstrosity."

Conclusion: 0/10. I haven't been tracking her breakdown otherwise, because, well, she's dead, but I have to imagine she's feeling some sense of vindication that Lucien is also dead and actually, her highly unethical modifications to him were still an upgrade by most standards. She's had three weeks to come to terms with her fate. Also I imagine any magical afterlife for the evil as completely lacking in such amenities as the catharsis of a breakdown.

Essek Thelyss: speaking of the catharsis of a breakdown!

If I may get serious, and I may because I have never actually cared for getting the readers' permission in my entire life and sure won't start now, what struck me about Essek is that there are many things that were implied he did not get much of - friendship, peace, an escape from the rigid confines of his society, people asking him about soup - but in many ways he has lived an immensely privileged life. Talented, powerful, free from want. Except he wanted more, because that's how people are.

I'm sure next week, and in the few following, amid whatever breaks and one-offs occur, (with some premature examinators writing them right now, even), there will be plenty of meta explaining what the Mighty Nein were really about, man. I will even probably definitely make some of them. And even as I make fun of those who are performing vivisections and calling them post mortems, it's not terribly hard to guess what we'll find. Redemption. Found Family Wait No But It's Different This Time. The complicated subtleties of morality across disparate cultures. Who You Are In The Dark. An extended metaphor of the underappreciated nature of utility casters.

But while all of those have truth to them, the story of the Mighty Nein, to me, is seven people-eight, now- being forced to answer one question: What if you actually got what you wanted, for once? What then?

More than anything, what Essek wanted was answers. He still wants them, though his priorities are shifting. He's gotten some answers already. He does not see himself as deserving. He might not, for many years. Perhaps ever.

And so when the people he does see as deserving want something - a relatively small thing, in the grand scheme, to want - and they are unable to get it, that is what breaks him.

Conclusion: let the poor man have a good cry in peace. fucking voyeurs.

Halas Lutagran: Oh? oh is it a long time to be trapped? Is it? Did the Mighty Nein free some souls from the time of the Calamity that had been trapped? for over a millennium? huh. interesting. I just think it's funny how they just did that? freed the souls of the mages? who had been trapped? for a long time?

[c-is-for-circinate]

So as close as I am to fully escaping Hades for the first time, I figure I might take this opportunity to write down a couple of things I'm scared of from this ending. The story is so good so far! But I have seen good stories before! And there are patterns, right, patterns it's so easy for even good stories to fall into, so yeah, I have fears, and they mostly come down to Hades himself.

(Yep, this one got long again! People seem to be enjoying my game-reaction rambles, so, for your enjoyment under the cut: themes of separation and reunion, predictions for what Zagreus is the god of, and a whole lot of discussion of familial abuse dynamics, how they're depicted in fiction, and the work it takes to change them in real life. Stay warned! Stay safe!)

(ALSO, I still haven't made it past the first couple of chambers in the Temple of Styx, so no spoilers in the reblogs/comments please! Yes, even though the whole post is me going on about predictions and hopes and concerns about the path the story might take. I WILL GET THERE SOON.)

It has been really interesting watching some of the stuff the game is doing with themes of parting and reunion, and how that corresponds to life and death. So many of our social links are about reuniting estranged loved ones: Chaos and Nyx, Eurydice and Orpheus, Patroclus and Achilles. Hades is estranged from Olympus, Persephone left. And every time we leave, or try to leave, it is both an attempt at a parting (and Meg and Than are so hurt by that goodbye, or lack thereof) and an attempt at a reunion with our mother. Every time we die it's a reunion, every time we die it's fun, it's great, we get to go back home and check in with all of our friends and be impressed by whoever made Employee Of The [Timeperiod] and sell fish to the cook and put down yet more rugs. (My Zagreus has something of a rug addiction. What can you do.)

It's at the point where I feel pretty secure in stating that Zagreus is going to discover eventually that he is both life/death/rebirth god, and god of partings and reunions. Both halves of both of those things. People leave each other when they die and re-find their loved ones in death; you go away from one group of people to come back to another; you have to depart to return, and I really think that's where we're going to end up with Zagreus. He's going to reunite his various friends with their loved ones, he's probably going to restore communications between Hades and Olympus and even Persephone, he's going to reunite with his mom, and he's going to come back to the Underworld before he leaves to see everyone up top all over again. And of course the vehicle for all of this coming and going is death, because death is the ultimate departure and reuniter. (This is absolutely a religious concept containing a whole bunch of "oh hey our culture has a lot of Christian influence, doesn't it", Greek trappings aside, but that's fine, it's a game made in 2018 not 300 BC, these things happen. They keep calling the Underworld 'hell' and 'infernal'. It's all good.) Of course he's a cthonic god. Of course he bleeds, because you have to bleed in order to die, and Zagreus has to die again and again and again. That's his whole thing.

Thing is, though, looking at those themes, I am also continually aware of the fact that some partings are for a really good reason. Some partings should not end in reunion.

Yes, of course this is about Hades the abusive dad. I have been talking about Hades the abusive dad basically non-stop since I started playing this game, where did you think this post was going.

There are a few things I'm nervous about, separate but related, and at the core it all comes down to, I'm not okay with it if we learn why Hades got to be this way, and Zagreus forgives him as we-the-audience are meant to do, and Hades promises to do better, and nothing concrete about the situation is forced to change. Actual, meaningful, practical, logistical, non-hypothetical non-metaphorical change, not just for Zagreus but for Hades himself.

Because I know how this story tends to go, in fiction. Fictional abusive parents (especially in fantasy/sci-fi stories) tend to come in two types: 'coerced their offspring into actual murder with a side of physical abuse and optional unethical lab experimentation', or 'this was here to create character conflict, we didn't mean for it to read as actually abusive, this parent just has flaws to make them a good character, we swear!' Hades isn't the first type--we have never once seen Hades strike his son, or anybody, or even come out from behind his desk--which means that the fear is, always, always, in every piece of fiction, that he's the second. That the writers are going to decide that the right response to his abuses is remorse, forgiveness, and one really good conversation. That they don't realize it's abuse in the first place.

And, like. They have to know, right? They have to. They can't have done this by accident. (Sometimes, writers get so close by accident.) They can't have done so well at drawing out this situation simply by going, 'well, people are meant to fear this god, so they'd probably react like this, and I guess based on what I've seen in other stories or vague acquaintances they'd then do this,' and never put the name on the situation. Every single time we leave to the tune of a Hades word-flash, he's being dismissive, insulting, and sometimes downright cruel. He is cruel. They have to know!!!

But oh boy have I been consuming media for a lot of years, and oh boy have I run into a lot of writers who don't know.

Reconciliation is such a loaded word, but stories about dysfunctional families really do love it. Stories based around themes of reunion are primed for it. And of course, it's nice, it ties a happy ending off with a sweet little bow, everyone gets to be with the people they love and the family is safe and nobody gets hurt, but so rarely have I seen stories that show the actual work required to rebuild those relationships in a realistic or meaningful way. So rarely do stories trying to build that happy ending actually let the victim of abuse set and maintain boundaries. The character never gets to actually just cut the damn ties to the thing that hurt them. The character so rarely even gets to be safe.

And it's so hard in this game specifically, because "THERE IS NO ESCAPE", because every single thing about this game says that the story's not over when Zagreus gets to the surface, that no matter what he's going to have to come back. It's so hard, because this is a game about reunions. I am not going to get an ending where the abused kid trying to flee his toxic home and abusive dad actually gets to leave and stay gone, not in this one. And that hurts (I have watched and supported and done my best to help multiple real-life friends get the fuck out of homes like that, and stay gone, I have seen how hard it is, how complicated, how awful, and there are never stories for that), but I can live with it, if I get an ending where Zagreus is at least safe. Where things change. Where they really change.

Which is why I need actual, concrete, material changes in the logistics and power structure of the Underworld for this ending to be okay. Understanding why Hades is Like That doesn't cut it. Remorse doesn't cut it! Because look, even if Hades wants to do better, even if he admits he's at fault and tries to be better, he is still set up in a position as an all-powerful tyrant, and trying to become a better person is hard. There is nobody around who can keep him in check when he starts backsliding, which he will. Even if he doesn't want to, he will.

Because people are people, and it's really difficult to break patterns! Especially if everything around them stays the same. Hades is going to slip at some point, be cruel, be callous, be tyrannical, no matter how much of an effort he's making. Not to mention, it is STRESSFUL to face your own crimes and improve, it sucks, it feels bad. And what do habitual abusers do when they feel bad? What's the only coping mechanism Hades appears to have established for dealing with his own shit? That's right, it's inflicting suffering on everyone else around him. (This is why it doesn't really matter what circumstances drove Hades to act this way, why it can't matter--I believe that he is suffering, but he copes with that suffering by inflicting additional suffering on everyone around him, everyone who relies on him, and that's still true no matter what made him feel bad to begin with.) So then we just get a great old guilt-->lashing out-->more guilt-->more lashing out merry-go-round of abuse even as Hades is trying to change. That's how these things work. And yes, change is possible, improvement is absolutely possible, but the environment needs to change first. The system that enables and rewards Hades for acting this way can't stay in place. Things need to actually change, with people who are around to support Hades in his growth and also check his power, people who have power of their own to stop him. And however it happens, for this story with this protagonist with these goals to feel like a happy ending, Zagreus needs to be safe.

It would be okay, though a little disappointing, if those changes were mostly based in magic and fate and, idk, divine mind-control. (This story has been so grounded in actual human dynamics that a fantastical solution to a realistic problem would feel like a letdown, but if it actually solved the problem I'd be okay with it, more or less.) It would be okay, though a little disappointing, if the responsibility for bringing Hades to heel fell upon Zagreus and Persephone, if the two family members who he hurt badly enough that they felt the need to run away from him entirely now had to shoulder the burden of helping him fix himself. (There are definitely ways to write that dynamic better and ways to write it worse, and I think I trust these writers to land on the 'better' side of the scale, but I still don't love the implications.) I think I'd be pretty into it if Hades took a vacation off to Olympus to Work Out His Shit with his own family, while a coalition of Meg, Nyx, Thanatos, Zagreus, and Queen Persephone took over running the Underworld in his absence. I think we might end up getting some combination of those things. I'm hopeful. I think these writers might know what they've written. I think they might have a sense for what it'll take to fix.

But yeah, I'm nervous. (Nervous enough that I might switch to God Mode just to get through, combat has started getting really tedious instead of fun, I want to know what happens next, and this is a game and there is no shame in making it more fun for myself by making the boring parts a little quicker and easier.) I've seen so many stories go wrong. This one has done so much to earn my trust. We'll see if it breaks.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #389

“i’m well aware i’m a danger to myself  /  are you aware i’m a danger to others?”

How much do you weigh? Yeah, we're starting off on a bad foot. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Putting Roman's used litter in the trash. Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? Hm... I guess you could love them, but it'd be a complicated situation. What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? If it's purely for sport, from the very bottom of my heart, fuck you. Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? I'd say it's decently fast. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Yeah, Florida. My grandma lived there. Are you sensitive to caffeine? No. It does like... nothing to me. How do you usually get around? My mom's car. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No actually, but I know I kinda am. What do you think about Kim Kardashian? I don't have an opinion of her. Can you speak any French? No. Favorite yogurt flavor? The only yogurt I've been liking lately is cookies and cream to add a different texture, because otherwise, I don't like its natural texture very much??? Idk man, my taste buds are wild. How much money do you have in your wallet right now? Just like $5. What bottled water brand do you like? Essentia. Your favorite way to eat chocolate? As chocolate bars, probably. How often do you listen to country music? Like, never. Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold? Linkin Park. Last surgery you had? Pilonidal cyst removal. Have you ever played guitar? I briefly took classes for it in high school, yes. Best I got to was playing some of the intro to "Crazy Train." I enjoyed it, but not enough to be consistent and really learn. Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? I don't think so? What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? Independence and confidence would be nice... Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? No. Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? God no. I love my online friends. Half of 'em more than "irl" ones. Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? I have to be VERY invested in it to care THAT much. It happened most recently when Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty premiered. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? Early in the morning. I'm in a better mood in the morning. Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? I have a calorie-counting app, as well as one to track my period. Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? My mom's, best friend's, and psychiatrist's. If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? I don't really know. Maybe the very first Pride event? Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it? Ride a rollercoaster, for one. I know I never will, though. I'm too afraid of throwing up, but even more realistically, I fear passing out before of the twisting and turning and just standing up makes me very dizzy. My blood pressure is STUPID low. What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? Have kids. That's a big 'ole fat no from me. Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever come to your door? Twice at least. Are you well-known by people in your area? No. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, thank Christ. It sounds terrifying. What's your favourite type of bird? Barn owls. Melanistic ones, to be exact. Stunning. What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? I'm only keeping up with Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Have you ever dated a smoker? For less than a day. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes. Have you ever been a member in a band? No. Besides the school band. Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No. Do you have separate emails for personal and business? No. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Multiple times. Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible? I think once with my brother. Why did you last need to use a band-aid? I'unno. What fruit do you eat most often? Apples. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My ma. Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? A few times. I don't feel like thinking over this. Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? I've tried almond milk, and I hated it. If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? uhhhhhh idk When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? I'm essentially always in my room. If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No. Do you find piercings attractive? Yep. Do you like potato chips? Loooove 'em. What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? Nothing beyond checking Jason's Facebook sometimes after the breakup, I think. Even that though I wouldn't recommend doing. You're just going to get yourself hurt. Stay away from exes' profiles. Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? Yep. I don't give a fuck what's in your pants, you don't hit anybody unless you're fighting to defend yourself. What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? I mean... define "old." I'll go with The Lion King for old, and for new, uh... Finding Dory, probs. Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. I don't really know what IS trendy right now... Is Snapchat still "in?" Because I've never gotten that. “Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? I think I'm kinda neutral about it? Like I mean it also depends on exactly what is said. I prefer more loving talk, though. What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? I'm a basic fatass that likes American cuisine most, aha... Like give me a cheeseburger and I'm happy lmao. How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? I love it more now at a short length than I ever did long. When it was long and I was in my deepest depression, I was awful about brushing it. It would get so knotted. Like looking back, it nearly makes me shiver. I HIGHLY recommend cutting your hair for anyone who struggles with selfcare. How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? I'm single, but hypothetically, if you're checking an ex's page nearly every day, I would not be okay with that. I'm totally fine with exes remaining friends and just cordially talking now and again, but that's it. It's a respect thing. Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? I personally like cologne if it's not overwhelming. I really don't care if you wear it or not, though. Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? This survey is so heteronormative. But anyway, unless there was an issue like it not fitting, I'd want my spouse to wear their ring. What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? There are a lot of reasons I don't want kids. I'm too selfish with my "me" time, I stress out too easily, I don't want to dedicate my life to keeping another person alive and fed and happy, I have bad genes... I could go on and on. I just wouldn't be a good, "present" enough mom. I am much more interested in ensuring *I* am okay. Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? Not at all. I mean I want a smooth and memorable wedding, but I'm not obsessed with it being perfect. Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? That's certainly not cheating, but I wouldn't like it. Being secretive about anything in a relationship is unhealthy, imo. I'd be hurt and also very insecure because I wouldn't feel like "enough." How old is too old for trick-or-treating? Honestly? I don't think you ever are. Like come on, does it REALLY matter? Let people have fun. I don't do it because of societal standards, but I would if I didn't care about being judged. Do you sleep with your arms over or under the covers? It depends on the temperature, but I normally wake up with them under. Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band? I have an Ozzy one stored somewhere, but it doesn't fit me now. There was another I really liked too, but that one is WAY too small now. Fries or onion rings? Fries. I'm not a fan of onion rings. True/False: you’ve had an odd dream this week. Story of my life. I had one last night where I kept dying in different ways, and I actually felt the pain, like drowning in magma. Do you find tattoo sleeves attractive? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Do you like carving pumpkins? Yeah. What’s an animal you want to have as a pet but can’t? My mom has absolutely forbidden me to get a tarantula (uh, many tarantulas in my case) until I move out, lol. That doesn't stop me from checking Craigslist like every day. ;_; Have your parents ever caught you drinking? "Caught," no. Any time I've drunk, I've had permission or was a legal adult by then. How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? First be humiliated at my appearance and then absolutely pass out lmao. Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? No, thank fuck. The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? If I know it's something they wouldn't do sober, absolutely not. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? Any would be lovely, but the poem would appeal most to me because of the amount of thought that goes into poetry. Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? What? I don't think so, no. Which holiday is the most fun to decorate for? Halloween. What was the first website you had an email account on? Yahoo. Have you ever written a fanfic? No. Tattoos or piercings? Both are grand, but tats win. What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? I saw this picture of a snake split open that had eaten another snake. Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? Lil cozy one! I don't want more space than is needed for cleaning reasons, as well as price. Do you have a tutor for anything? No. Who’s the best kisser you know? Jason was. Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. I'd like it to stay that way. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? Ew, no. Do you have a deep voice? For a woman, yes. Do you play games with boys/girls, like 'hard to get’? Hi, I'm an adult. Is there a Sonic where you live? YES. It's my fave fast-food place. What do you like on your pizza? I have three go-tos depending on my mood: Pepperoni, jalapenos, or meat lovers.

[a-student-out-of-time]

You might as well tell us the whole story Kyoji?

Alright, so she came to me one night, about...five days before Saionji-san and Koizumi-san were kidnapped. She directly came to my clinic. How she evaded her brother and father, I have no idea.

But she had this extra addition for our plan she wanted to discuss.

_________________________________________________

So...you’re good with genetics, right?

I’d like to think I’m pretty well-informed.

Soooo...you know about cell division, hormonal fluctuations, bone growth, all that stuff?

Yes...? Why do you ask?

Well, Monaca’s curious. How long does it take before someone finished puberty?

There’s no hard limits, but for biological females, it begins around ages 9-14; for biological males, 10-16. After that, it lasts for about 2-5 years depending a wide variety of factors.

But you know what those factors are.

I do, yes.

So...hypothetically speaking, could someone go through puberty really fast? Like, could the process be accelerated?

It can, but that’s...usually not a good thing. Rapid aging isn’t what you think it means, that’s what’s called Progeria.

Monaca doesn’t mean that! She means, biologically, could someone go from a kid to an adult in a short amount of time? No disorders, no problems, just...really, really fast puberty?

That’s...quite a question. I...I suppose, hypothetically, it...could be possible. I’ve found ways to condense two years worth of healing into the space of about week. It’s not pleasant, but it’s possible.

So will you do it?

Huh?!

That’s what Monaca’s asking. Will you make Monaca into an adult? Please?

That’s so unethical, I don’t even know where to start...

Please...Monaca doesn’t wanna be a kid anymore. Monaca can’t do anything when she’s so young...

Monaca-chan...you’re asking me to find a way to have you skip over...what? 7 or 8 years of your biological life? What for?

This way, Monaca can become CEO of Towa Group even faster. She can help do so much for you and for Kasugano-sama. You said you’d help Monaca meet him, right?

I...I did, yes.

Still, Monaca-chan, there’s a lot that could wrong here. You could end up with a misproportioned skeleton, your heart may not scale up fast enough, you could suffer a fatal seizure, your body could give out in so many ways...

It’s a risk Monaca’s willing to take.

Or Monaca could just tell Kasugano-sama what you’re up to...

Oh. So this is blackmail then?

Nope. Monaca’s just thinking out loud, that’s all!

...Okay. I’ll work on a solution. Some kind of hormonal concentration, high amounts of TGF-β. It’ll be a lot of work...

But, actually, now that I think about it...this could give us an even easier time getting into their base. Thank you, Monaca-chan. You just gave me a great idea.

_______________________________________________________

And before anyone yells at me, no, I wasn’t actually going to do it. I made a fake solution that we brought in on. I convinced her brother that it would help heal her legs, and the idea was to keep her submerged for as long as possible until you all arrived. Thankfully, you all got there before she could’ve expected any changes.

[kingneptunesthinninghead]

How much do you weigh? what a weirdly personal question

If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? sitting in the shade reading a book

Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? yes but not in a way that will ever be truly fulfilling

What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? i live in a very rural area so i grew up with hunting for sport extremely normalized but once i actually developed and used my critical thinking skills i realized how morally reprehensible it is. literally just begging these people to use their brains.

Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? eh its pretty fast

Have you ever been someplace tropical? florida lmao

Are you sensitive to caffeine? somewhat. i dont really consume it that much

How do you usually get around? driving myself

Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? no bc i’m generally pretty independent unless i reallyyyy like someone

What do you think about Kim Kardashian? neutral

Can you speak any French? je parle un peu français

Favorite yogurt flavor? i’m lactose intolerant so i recently tried dairy free yogurt and i hated it sooo i guess none

How much money do you have in your wallet right now? i dont have any cash in my wallet rn lol

What bottled water brand do you like? deer park or aquafina

Your favorite way to eat chocolate? brownies

How often do you listen to country music? sometimes.

Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold? neither

Last surgery you had? my wisdom teeth surgery

Have you ever played guitar? no but i wish i could

Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? um i dont think so

What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? a little more confidence

Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? maybe

Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? i dont have very many online friends anymore but when i had a bunch i loved talking to them

Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? only for something i really like.

Do you have any stickers on your laptop? a bunch

Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? early in the morning so then i have the rest of the day to myself when i get off

Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? i have a workout app but that’s it.

Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? my mom, sister, and my 2 best friends

If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? probably the women’s suffrage movement or the civil rights movement

Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it?i want to tell him how i feel but i’m afraid i’ll ruin the friendship

What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? wear a tampon i’m sorry but i can’t do it

Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever come to your door? no

Are you well-known by people in your area? eh somewhat

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no and i dont want to

What's your favourite type of bird? owls!!

What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? i’m watching loki, hsmtmts, planning to watch s2 of never have i ever, and i started one piece but i haven’t watched in a while

Have you ever dated a smoker? no but that might change😳

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? no

Have you ever been a member in a band? No.

Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No.

Do you have separate emails for personal and business? i have my school email and personal email

Have you ever missed a flight? no

Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? i think so.

Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible? i literally rode in my best friend’s convertible last night lmao

Why did you last need to use a band-aid? i dont remember

What fruit do you eat most often? bananas and clementines

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? maybe my great uncle?

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? no but i’ve been in a few on insta and twitter.

Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? i don’t straight up drink milk but i love things made with almond milk.

If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? elsa i want ice powers

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? sometimes but normally during the day i’m in the living room with my family

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No.

Do you find piercings attractive? Yep.

Do you like potato chips? Loooove 'em.

What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? i’ve looked up a few people’s houses on zillow in my day.

Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? absolutely, you shouldn’t hit anyone

What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? my top 3 are princess and the frog, tangled, and frozen 2. i also love the little mermaid

Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. idrk

“Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? it depends on what it is. it should also be mixed with some loving or praise talk imo

What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? i LOVE italian food specifically fettuccine alfredo and i also love asian food such as general tso’s, sweet and sour chicken, lo mein, shrimp fried rice, LUMPIA 🤤

How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? i’ve always liked my hair color and thickness. i always go back and forth between growing it out long and cutting it short bc i can never choose which i like more also it has lots of red undertones so i’m thinking about dyeing it a deep red

How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? hypothetically it would be a red flag to me. a clear sign they haven’t moved on from the past

Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? a good smelling cologne on a man will quite literally make me bust a nut.

Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? i’d want them to unless it didnt fit or something

What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? i’m very close with my family so i’ve always loved the idea of having one of my own with my future spouse

Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? i definitely have ideas for my wedding and i would want it to go a certain way according to our plan but in the end if things go wrong or plans change it wouldn’t matter as long as i’m marrying the loml.

Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? i wouldn’t consider it cheating if he was just watching but i would be angry that he hid it from me

How old is too old for trick-or-treating? i dont think it matters unless ur posing a danger to little children

Do you sleep with your arms over or under the covers? depends but mostly under

Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band? i have nsync and harry styles shirts but thats it

Fries or onion rings? Fries.

True/False: you’ve had an odd dream this week. all the time but most of the time i forget them right after i wake up

Do you find tattoo sleeves attractive? depends

Do you like carving pumpkins? Yeah.

What’s an animal you want to have as a pet but can’t? i think raccoons are adorable but its kindaaaa hard to domesticate them

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? no bc my parents let me drink in the house and i’ve told them abt every time i’ve drank at college

How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? i would absolutely piss and shit on myself.

Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? no

The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? i would stop it even if i want to bc i don’t want them to regret anything and i wouldn’t want them to kiss me if they don’t like me bc it would hurt too much.

What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? i would love them all but something abt a guy taking the time to write a poem for me makes me melt

Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? no.

Which holiday is the most fun to decorate for? halloween

What was the first website you had an email account on? gmail

Have you ever written a fanfic? YES AHSHDH.

Tattoos or piercings? tats for sure.

What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? the scene where alexei breaks the inmate’s wrist in black widow is SO GROSS i cringe every time

Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? definitely a little cozy one

Do you have a tutor for anything? No.

Who’s the best kisser you know? i’ve only kissed one person.

Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. I'd like it to stay that way.

(If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? no and i hope they dont

Do you have a deep voice? not really

Do you play games with boys/girls, like 'hard to get’? no thats dumb

Is there a Sonic where you live? yes i’m a whore for sonic

What do you like on your pizza? pepperoni or sausage

[embeanwrites]

Finding Home (Gavin Reed x Reader)

Chapter 2

Read: Chapter 1 here!

         I had just left my apartment a little after 11 am and started walking towards the university. I couldn’t help but to think about lunch yesterday. I was surprised how well it went; my dad seems like a totally different person from when I last saw him. Connor has been really good for him, almost like a son and Connor seemed to look up to him like a father figure. As I walked towards my office, I wondered if that meant eventually, I would think of Connor as a brother.

         I walked into the Faculty Administration Building and up two floors to reach my office. As I got closer to my office I noticed Nines was standing patiently outside the door.

         “Oh! Nines, if I knew you were waiting, I would have come sooner!” I rushed over to the door and unlocked it. I walked in and he followed.

         “I wasn’t waiting long, Dr. (L/n).” I sat at my desk and gestured for him to sit across from me.

         “Nines, please you can call me (Y/n). I really prefer it.” He nodded. “So, what can I do for you?”

         “I wanted to talk about one of your earlier papers. You wrote a piece about the Stanford Prison Experiment and how you didn’t believe, at the time, the results would be any different with androids. However, deviancy wasn’t a known problem. I’m quite curious on how you reached that conclusion.” Nines leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees.

         “Wow, that is an old paper. That was one of my first in grad school, I’m surprised you found it. Well, Zimbardo found that regular college students in the role of the guards allowed power to go to their heads and they mistreated the ‘prisoners’ even though they were all very similar. I mention this in the paper, but I do think it would depend on the type of android and if everyone in the simulation is an android or if some are human. For example, if the guards were all AX400 models and the prisoners are human, I don’t believe we would get the same results. However, let’s say we remove the androids LEDs and mix them with humans, where the humans don’t know who is human or android and there’s a varying mix between each group in the role of the guards and the role of the prisoner, we would get the same results. Even without deviancy, the androids would know who is human and who isn’t, so if they are in the role of the guard, they would follow the lead of the others. On the other side, androids who were not deviant would comply with any mistreatment and therefore wouldn’t fight back from the guards.” Glancing at Nines, his stare was extremely intense and made me a little nervous. I’ve had to defend my papers to a lot of different individuals, in and out of academia, but never had to do so in a one on one conversation like this. 

         “What about now? If you could run the experiment?” He asked.

         “Well, I wouldn’t. The Stanford Prison experiment was highly unethical and did a lot of damage to the psyche of many of the participants. I wouldn’t cause that pain on humans or androids. Hypothetically speaking, I believe the results we would get would be the same as Zimbardo’s. Especially now, many androids have removed their LED and it’s sometimes difficult to pick out androids versus humans in a line up.”

         “What if they were all androids?”

         “Well, if this is before deviancy, I would say nothing out of the ordinary would happen. But today we do have android on android crime, so it’s reasonable to assume that similar emotions will arise from Zimbardo’s experiment.”

         “Yes, that makes sense.” Nines nodded and leaned back, seeming content with my answers for now.

         “I’m glad I could answer those questions for you. May I ask you one?” He paused for a few seconds before answering.

         “That seems fair.”

         “Why are you curious about this?”

         “It’s simple really. You’re one of the few people in academia who write about androids and more specifically android behavior. You’ve also been studying this the longest out of anyone I’ve seen, and you approach the subject objectively which can be hard to come by. It’s part of my job to understand human and android behavior and I would consider you an expert on the topic.”

         “Well, I don’t know how many of my peers would agree that I’m objective when it comes to my research, but it seems to come with the territory. What prompted you to come visit me so soon?”   

         “Detective Reed takes his lunch break from 11 to 12:15, since I don’t eat, I normally sit in the precinct. Recently Captain Fowler has asked me to actually leave the building for my break like Connor. For some reason, I think it upsets him seeing me sit there and not move. If it is alright with you, may I visit again tomorrow during this time?”

         “I don’t see why not, but Nines we don’t have to only talk about sociology. I would like to get to know you too.” Looking at him I noticed he barely turned his head, if I hadn’t been looking at him there’s no way I would have noticed. I wonder if he picked that up from Connor or if it was in both of their programming?

         “I’ve told you, I’m the RK900 model and I work with Detective Reed at the Detroit Police Department.” I sighed.

         “How about this, for every sociology question you ask me, I get to ask you something in return. About you or your opinion on something?” Nines looked at me unblinking for about thirty seconds before finally answering.

         “That seems fair. Do you have a question now?” I tried hiding my smile from him, it was always so rewarding to get androids who have stuck to their programming, despite being deviant, to talk about themselves.

         “Do you like working for the DPD?” I asked.

         “Of course, it’s what I was made to do.”

         “Yes, but do you LIKE working for the DPD?”

         “I don’t understand the difference you’re trying to get me to make.”

         “If you could work at a different police department, would you?”

         “No. The city has a high number of cases to solve and as difficult as he can be, working with Detective Reed is another challenge that has been interesting to solve.”

         “What do you mean?”

         “Well, when we were first partnered, he refused to even discuss cases with me. Overtime he’s seemed to warm up, maybe because I can finish both of our case paperwork in less than an hour. However, I have noticed unlike Connor and Lieutenant Anderson, Detective Reed doesn’t get upset with me when I use my forensics kit. He doesn’t like androids, but I think he prefers me to Connor.”

         “Well, Connor did knock him out apparently.” I said with a smile and I swore Nines’ lips twitched for a second as if he was going to smile.

         “Detective Reed will be returning from lunch soon.” Nines said while standing up, “I need to return to the precinct before he does.”

         “Does he get mad at you if he has to wait on you?”

         “No. However, it is easier to tease him about being late rather than teasing him for being on time.” I couldn’t help but laugh at Nines comment.

         “Before you go, here’s my card. It has my email, school phone, and my cell phone. In case you have any pressing questions. Please send me a message, so if something happens and I cannot make it before one of our meetings I can let you know.” Nines nodded and his LED flashed yellow.

         “I sent you a message. Have a good day Dr…. I mean (Y/n).” He said turning towards the door.

         “You too Nines! I look forward to our conversation tomorrow!” As Nines left, I relaxed in my chair. With this new job, many of my coworkers seemed hesitant to talk to me about my research, maybe they believed I was too radical. It felt nice having someone ask questions about my work and to show a genuine interest. I looked at my cell phone and giggled at his message.

          This is Nines, the RK900 android that works at the DPD

          Part of me wanted to poke fun at him, because of course I would know it was him, but I didn’t want to alienate him in any way. I looked at my other text messages to see what else I had missed during my walk and conversation with Nines.

          Hey! Me and some people from the precinct are going to get drinks at Jimmy’s bar around 7pm. Do you want to come? I think Connor’s going. Hank’s been trying to get him to hang out with people his “own age”.

          I bite my lip, I have been wanting to hang out with Tina, but I don’t know if I’m ready for questions on why I disappeared. I looked at my phone and decided to text Connor first.

          Hey, are you going to Jimmy’s tonight? Tina invited me and said you may be coming?

          Connor immediately responded.

          Lieutenant Anderson is forcing me to go. He said he was going to lock me outside the house until it was an “unreasonable time to be home”. Do you know what that means?

          Haha yeah. He wants you to hang out with other people, I guess. Branch out and make some friends. If you want, I can go with you and if it’s lame, we can just walk around and tell my dad we spent the whole time at the bar. 

          Yes, I think if you were there it may be better. I’ve tried going before, but I was the only android. I believe I made Detective Reed uncomfortable with my presence since I can’t drink, and he believes I record every conversation.

 Alright, well Jimmy’s is closer to the precinct, so I’ll meet you there around 6:45?

 Are you alright walking here alone? It would be no trouble for me to come to the university or your apartment first.

 It’ll be okay. It’s a short walk! I’ll see you at 6:45 in the lobby!

 Okay.

 I sighed gently, I had to go now. There was certainly no backing out now, unless I wanted to hurt Connor’s feelings. I swiped back to Tina’s message.

 I’ll be there.

[ourcorny]

charactersssss (a constant wip)

annie morris … twenty-five. currently haunted by her paintings and doodles. how embarrassing! waitress, artist, medicated for an illness she doesn’t has. is actually just from a bloodline of cursed female creative types. more info can be found @tghluck. (fc: mary elizabeth winstead)

edward ainsley … sixteen years old, is actually fifty-seven, vegan vampire. utterly disliked by his vampiric peers due to his being turned into a vampire in his youth, rendered sixteen years old for life. has a tendency towards alcoholism in order to silence his cravings for blood since he deems vampirism altogether unethical. more info found @pastytwat (fc: craig roberts)

robbie moore … fifty. always one of those too big for his own boots kinda guys – one of the ‘i’m jumping ship as soon as hit eighteen’ types. that’s what he did, and that’s when he absolutely fucked it. ran his mouth too loud for too long and ruined any chances he had anywhere he went. robbie is a writer but his unwillingness to compromise with his work leaves him unable to find any real place in the industry. an absolute self publishing expert. to pay the bills he’s an english teacher but there’s no real passion for it. he came back to his hometown after struggling his way around the country and settled down in a marriage with his high school sweetheart that turned sour quickly. the pair never had children and were heading to a painful divorce when his wife passed away suddenly. years down the line and he’s still trying to wrap his head around it. jesus fuck this guy. (fc: marc maron)

tara shaw … thirty-four. owner of SHAWSPB, an independent publishing company ran (run? past tense…? it’s confusing) by one tara shaw, someone who needs to work on her social skills. as it seems, you can actually only reject so many people so many times before it bites you in the ass. more specifically (and more accurately), you can only reject so many people so meanly after you fire the companies’ reader because they’ve let one too many trashy reads out of the slush pile and you have to start wading through the heaving thing yourself. opening manuscripts seemed well and good and safe enough because all you’d be facing is words that were crappy in a worst case scenario, until late one night, you stumble upon something that a sour faced rejectee (yes, one that landed themselves with a personalised handwritten and very specific rejection from the woman herself) gets their pages in the pile. tara opens it and finds that it’s no story at all. it’s a string of nonsense – words that don’t exist, script she’s not sure she’s ever seen before, but transfixed on the page, tara shaw reads the thing front to back and the second she puts the papers down is hurtled into the space time continuum, left to float around in there til something grounds her back into the real world, when or wherever that is. it’s an act of karma, or something, and whenever she lands she pukes her guts out because that’s what that kind of thing does to the human body apparently. (fc: natasha lyonne)

genevieve walsh … seventeen. was made fun of in year six for choosing to go to an all girl’s catholic secondary school, her classmates saying that she would end up a lesbian. she did, though it was unrelated to her formal teaching. very unrelated. she has too much going on and is too moody for her own good. extra info can be found @genegrieve. 

morrigan kenny … age unknown. bringer of the apocalypse. wanders earth with her way too long hair (it collects twigs and mud) looking for someone to spend the rest of the end with.

alex … thirty-odd (undisclosed actual age) years old. she is yet to learn to do her taxes, and is for all intents and purposes: a con-woman. arguably not an ethical profession, charging the old and the gullible for exorcisms and that of a supernatural variety while having no knowledge of the subject. but a girl’s gotta make a living — volunteering yourself for stand up gigs at the same place night in night out with little to no compensation doesn’t provide much. she’s a kind person, if you ignore the conning, and is decent to talk to. will give away any information. whoops. (fc: jenny slate)

lou webster … seventeen. modern prophet. refuses touch with good reason (skin on skin means she see the other person’s skin melting off, right to the bone). regularly sees the end of the world and it gives her stomach aches. (fc: natalia dyer)

liv o'dell … twenty-nine. screaming messy would probably win the lottery (the luck of her) if she ever tried it, multiple time accidental murderer. makes no sense. is rude. is annoying. has a surprisingly sweet daughter (kitty). more info @heavyroads 

betty cloverfield … a twenty one year old motormouth who can’t hold down a single thing she’s meant to. she happens to have recently induced some type of magenta sensitive dissonance in her sensory processing that she can’t shake. it’s speculated by many that she’s taken one too many poppers and it’s taken its toll. (fc: kat dennings)

aiden ryder … seventeen years old. the angstiest, quietest idiot with four fully charged portable chargers to hand at any moment you will ever know. heavily associated with @optimistsclub​ (fc: jack kilmer)

mert james ... 21. a children’s author, the writer and illustrator of the BEWARE GIANT CREATRUES series. he has many reasons to not want to leave his house and most surround the obvious images conjured in the phrase hatemyself1999 — hate myself (explanatory) and 1999 (dexter ‘mert’ james’ birth year. also self explanatory once you know this fact). all that said, he does in fact leave his house. teaches drums to kids. none of them practise and it makes him insane. in a running circuit of bands where none of the members are committed. that, or he’s misjudging their commitment and giving them nothing when they do in fact care and then he is the dick. music snob, deadpan snarker, karma houdini, middle child syndrome, world of cardboard, can’t get away with nuthin, i coulda been a contender!

lazyguts / victoria ... suicide/eating disorder mention. i’m writing her through ages 17-19 and here’s the brief overview/context: lazyguts lost all of her friends the year before she went off to university as a result of her total withdrawal [causes being a) her brother attempting to kill himself (he survived but it’s very confusing to grieve a hypothetical especially when you’re not supposed to talk about it) and then b) her already struggling with food issues getting worse worse worse. these two things alone are not the reasons as no one else explicitly knows about them, but the adverse effects of these things combined make her difficult to be around/hard to maintain a friendship with her. all very tragic, but still happens. uno].going to a uni where she doesn’t know anyone seems like the best move. she does. she makes friends with a girl called olivia and they become mad close very quickly. this lasts maybe two months until lazyguts starts locking herself away in uni room and doesn’t see much of anyone at all. she has to drop out on mental health reasons just before the end of her first year. she moves back home and lives miserably and very solitary. she and olivia have long lost touch by this point. a few months later she sees an in memoriam post up on olivia’s social media from some of olivia’s friends saying how tragic the loss is, etc/ olivia had killed herself. the post had said something about a project for the close friends of olivia and she tentatively sends a message despite having never really known the girl. anyway, after quite a few ‘exaggerations’ and then a few straight up lies, she ends up super into the friend group of olivia’s based on the lie of being a long-time friend of hers. she’s not sure why the lie comes out nor why she keeps it going. it’s something to cling onto so she does. best way to put it is she’s very dear evan hansen about it, lying lying lying lllyyyinng. eventually she’s caught out but we’re not there yet (fc: odessa a’zion)

dale knox ... 30ish. painter/decorator. info literally not ever written out before. he’s lovely and in a constant state of stress! affiliated with @fullyfungi (fc: aidan turner)

lenny gata ... 26. lonely funeral poet. followed by a select few of the unknown dead #irl after an accidental latin spell read out at a graveside (not her fault, literally not her fault - she read this out in good faith). caught ignoring them/walking them to their homes depending on the day. (fc: aubrey plaza)

millie matthews ... 17. half part antichrist. the other half is her twin sister (#MISSING). currently, unfortunately, sadly, disappointgly, worryingly, being tracked down.

more tbaaaaaaaa thank you thank you

[artofaboythatoncewas]

Structural Isomers 2

Leo: 2,3-Dimethylheptane. It’s just… my life is so average that I gotta force myself into others’ situations; how else am I gonna get a thrill? Do you feel me, Viz? <The amusement park ride begins to take off, revealing the mildly broad view of the Guatemalan cityscape. The smell of barbeque holds back the tears Oro was ready to shed because ferris wheels strike a particular emotional nerve for him.> «Uh… my advice is that what you’re doing isn’t necessarily a bad thing. To be philosophical, nothing anyone does is bad.» Even murder and like, murdering children? «Yeah, not even that can constitute you as a bad person. And that’s true ‘cause everyone alive now has come here with a purpose, and those purposes can manifest in many ways in our lives.» <The carriage buckles a bit, enough to make noticeable the snot on Oro’s hand> ...You sound like you’re heading into some wacky territory, but I’ll bite. <Viz takes another bite into the corndog that seemingly materialized from his pocket> «So, because of this highly encoded model of fate, that means that even the worst shit that happens to you happens for a reason.» Even cancer and like, terminal cancer? «Redundant, but yes.» Hmm… <Oro takes a small bite of Viz’s corn dog while he’s distracted> I think there’s some moral holes in that, Viz. «It’s funny ‘cause that isn’t real either!» Okay, you’re just fucking with me now; may Jesus find your lost soul. «Sounds like you can’t see past yourself!» <The carriage buckles again but harder, knocking the corn dog out of Viz’s hand and revealing the loogie Oro was hiding.> So you’re saying that it’s commendable for me to put myself where I don’t belong? «Hold on, I never said that, but… actually, you should just be proud for who you are. Take yourself as you are, and you can then begin to do the same to others. Forget about the idea of souls and deeper selves entirely.» Whatever you say, homie.

Taurus: 3,3-Diethylpentane. «Gresham.» <He peeks his head from washing the dishes to divert attention to the voice that called him> What is it, Sanjay? «Hmm, I was gonna ask you questions about how nonsensical this world is, but my mind immediately shifted to asking you how you got to this point.» This point? Like, the quality of life I possess currently? «What else?» I would’ve preferred to point out the ridiculousness of this whole ordeal, but I understand your shift. Shoot! «Do you think the ways you’ve gotten to where you are now were… unethical?» There’s a lot you’re holding in your mouth when you ask a question like that. As a lover of difficult questions, I won’t answer that until the day’s done. «Uh-» No complaining, or I’ll cut your pay by 30%. <Sanjay thinks to himself> That’s exactly what I wanted to talk to him about: He has to be aware, right? There’s no way his skull is that dense, and his jokes are too clever! <Gresham finishes washing the last remaining plate and slides it atop the rack. Afterwards, he walks back to his usual position in the restaurant and waits for any new service.> [...] <Sanjay flicks his used cigarette from his mouth and onto the elaborate ashtray outdoors. In impatience, he goes back inside and demands the accountability he thinks he deserves> «It’s been three hours and nobody has shown up; you want to start removing that answer’s date back?» <Gresham breaks his inhuman concentration to make a firm statement> Clean up your ashtray first. «Are you teaching me an ecological lesson? Is this some lesson of your Tantra?» No, I’m just conscious about any numbers of fires that could emerge from cigarettes. «Fine.» <As Sanjay begins to go back outside, Gresham speaks again> Trust me, I wish I could escape the clutches of this cast we thrive and suffer under. However, no matter where I go, the world still refers back to where I came from. Is there value in not persisting forwards but backwards? <Sanjay looks back with hesitation, thinks briefly “the Manusmriti?” but scoffs at his datedness> Also, If you walk out, I’ll assume you’re doing terrible things, so don’t. «What about the-» The ashes will know where to go. «Why do you put on this faux mystic attitude? You’re a restaurant owner!»

Aquarius: 2,6-Dimethylheptane. <Aukai finds herself awake in her unsheeted bed, further disorganized beyond possibility. She forcefully motions her lips and breathes words of lucid wisdom through her dry chords.> There’s an anxiety that grips me sometimes, and it’s that every passing second I don’t recognize the artistic potential of something, it gets lost to time. What I fear the most is my head getting cracked wide open, losing consciousness, and awakening to a future that robbed me of beautiful scenes for new pieces. «This anxiety seems… unlike you.» <Aukai is surprised by the fact that her client is awake. Fear would gain control of her if it weren’t for him snoring afterwards, indicating it’s sleep-talking> Men are more beneficially judgmental when they’re asleep, huh? Whelp, I can leave while the night’s still middle-age. <Aukai gets dressed, particularly struggling to get her galoshes back on to weather the incoming rain. Once outside, she dashes through the rain almost oafishly, betraying the expectation of feminine grace. She thinks to herself> Even beyond how ridiculous it sounds, the life of an artist is a religious one: One where we’re conflicting our reality with the one produced on canvas. Well, that’d make the process more like the foundations of a religion than the application of it. The completeness isn’t there yet, but hopefully I can figure it out by the time I’m home. <The moonlight becomes secondary as the artificial lights create new scenes at every corner, torturing Aukai’s poor, traumatized eyes. She simply looks into her hands to avoid all these temptations.> [,] <There’s now tears mixing in with the raindrops, and on the way home, Aukai is stopped by an obstacle she couldn’t see coming. Facedown in the asphalt, she looks up to see a beautiful scene, etching itself into her eyes to haunt her next gig.> G-goddamn you <Aukai pounds her fist into the ground.>

Pisces: 2,2,4,4,-Tetramethylpentane. <Maghazi is walking down the crowded afternoon streets of Dakar, gleefully filling his lungs with the smell of pollution and fried fish. Here, he feels at one with the natural world, leaving no space for false misconceptions of the monism he lives and, well, breathes. Here, there’s people he can both condescend and praise, leaving ample room to leave a web of both shrinkage and growth. His baggy pants are scruffed from the leftover paint of the bricks he vaulted and leapt over for the style of the action: Something to move the body he believes serves no purpose other than preserving the valuable brain.> Hmm, my ears are pointing me somewhere ambiguous: 20 meters away. <It appears he’s detecting something his senses designated as important to him. Despite this, he was never really the opportunistic personality, at least never one that took what was in front of them. Maghazi takes more determined steps, inching closer to the source> If I had to guess, it’s likely a drone chip. They don’t exactly make their existence a secret <He rubs a special knob on his glasses, enabling a process we can’t witness or understand> …Found them. <Maghazi stumbles upon the source, which is a group of teenage boys in an alleyway kicking around a hacky sack, which he believes to be the source of the signal. Wondering how to approach, Maghazi comes to only the most optimal method> Oh, it looks like I’m substituting today. «Man, who are you talking to?» You guys: Who else? ²«Nobody agreed on that.» I never said it was democratic. All I need now is to be in this space and access to that hacky sack. «Get your own.» What if I told you it was an explosive device ready to go off and I was the only one who knew how to disarm it? «We’d die happy then.» <Maghazi is irked as there’s no other plans of approach left. In defeat, he walks away with a hunched demeanor. He thinks to himself how humorous it’d be if the hacky sack blew up like in his absurd hypothetical, but he’s quickly disappointed by the unpoetic reality> Nothing’s gonna happen.

[alimitlessife]

Why life is a violation of human rights and other issues with breeding.

Several weeks, yes, weeks ago, I had never heard the term Antinatalism. Antinatalism is the philosophical position that asserts a negative value judgment towards birth. In other words, it's better never to be born than to suffer and inevitably die. (I probably stole that from somewhere.)

Reading about this interesting theory I have realised things about myself. Things of which I was unaware, one of these is that I am an Antinatalist. I have been since I first watched the Matrix at age thirteen. I was obsessed with that movie and have been consumed with dystopian movies ever since.  

I will take a moment to dispel some of the myths surrounding this theory from my own perspective. My opinion in this area is usually met with 'so you hate kids.' No, I love children, they are wonderful. 'So you're depressed?' Again, no, I love my life very much, I have been blessed with a great many things to be thankful for and I am thankful for them. People then descend into confusion. They wonder what possesses a well balanced, educated and happy person into such a depressive state of mind (their opinion, not mine). 'Then why don't you kill yourself if life is so bad?' My life is amazing and while we're here we should absolutely make the most of it.

I have found the confusion is due to a conflict within human nature itself. As David Benatar rightly observes, humans are positively biased towards their own existence. At our core, we are biologically programmed to be positive about our lives. This is regardless of how bad life actually is and we strive to survive even when we're suffering. Death is the unseen enemy and we are programmed to fight it at every available opportunity. The unknown is not our friend and we should treat it with fear and caution. The answer for many is to breed. We breed to feel secure in legacy. We breed to feel like we have achieved something in what is a relatively pointless life. We breed to feel wanted. People breed and on a scale that is terrible and terrifying.

So, I hear you ask, if I like children and am not depressed then what is this all about?

My answer is a simple one, logic. I won't reiterate more of Benatar's findings as they're out there to read. My personal logic is that the world is a mess. We are polluting it, destroying our Ozone and even in the western world, we are slaves, slaves to the daily grind, slaves to capitalism. I, for one, don't want to bring a person into this world because I feel like they will simply struggle. They will suffer because of these things and much more. An unborn cannot consent to the suffering they would endure and that is unethical to me. Who am I to decide that their suffering is worth it? Article 3 of the European Convention on Human Rights, states a Prohibition of torture. It explicitly states that 'No one shall be subjected to torture or to inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.' By that very definition bringing a child into the world goes against their human rights. Life itself is a form of torture, isn't it? Childhood is parents working, fighting to keep everything together. It's constant want of things and upset rather than this idealised image that is portrayed. Adulthood is a fight, a battle to make it in a world ruled by the one per cent. The egomaniacal upper classes who let us believe myths like veganism and recycling will save the world.

Living within a capitalist system is a form of torture. You work, you live, you fight to get things to carve out a socially accepted life and then you die. People search for the meaning of life and the only real meaning is the one you create for yourself. In the meantime, no one tells you how to live only how not to and every other objection is hypocritical contradictory shit. On the off chance, you may receive intelligent and caring parents, wonderful. To have parents who give you advice and guidance means you are lucky. You may even have had a relatively nice life but this is not the case for most. So, you stumble and mull around in the metaphorical dark until you find somewhere to fit. Most never will, most simply follow the checklist of life and never really get the hang of it. They find someone and are unhappy because, well, monogamy or they settle. Then they get married, typically breed and the cycle perpetuates until you die.

There is also a further issue that comes to mind. I would potentially adore this, my hypothetical child. Yes, I like kids and I would love my own, I know it. So, why would I bring it into a world where it would suffer? I will have to suffer alongside it. I hate being the master of my own misery; it feels much too much like narcissism for my liking. In addition, losing my time, space and sleep would also be cause for misery. Again, going into that with my eyes wide open feels much like narcissistic behaviour.

I am of the opinion that I'm not special. What dictates that my genes are unique enough to perpetuate? Why is my lineage one that should survive? Even if I could justify it I'll probably reduce my offspring into a damaged adult. One who has not only my flaws but some extra just for them, which seems like cruel and unusual punishment. (I probably stole that too)

Yes, this all seems very pessimistic. You're already looking past the logic to the justifications of the endless suffering. You're already saying 'but life can be good.' Sure, in places, fleetingly. I can hear you thinking 'but I want kids.' That is the most selfish sentence I've ever heard, especially taking into consideration the above. Adopt, do something kind, negate someone of the suffering of someone already alive. Hubris, that's what breeding is, plain and simple. You want, you need. You, not them. They don't exist and cannot suffer while they don't.

The final thought is 'Well if we don't breed we'll die out.' Good. There are a million reasons why humanity as a whole should cease to exist. Not overnight necessarily, a perpetual decline would be better to negate suffering (Thank you, Mr Benatar). But yes, humanity is a bad thing. We believe our own lies. We are entitled and superior because of our intellect and it is annoying.  Mr Smith from the Matrix summed it up aptly:

"Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. "

When I consider all the above it leads to the only possible conclusion. Mr Smith is correct, humanity is a virus and Antinatalism is the cure.

[early-sxnsets]

Hey!! I just read your answer to that one anon about straight people in queer media and I agreed with everything ! I do have another question, though. is it ok for straight people to read smut of m|m or w|w ships?

hey darling! sorry it took so long for a reply; this has been sitting in my inbox for a few days as i’ve been running around hectically, but hey! answering it now!

long answer short: depends on the context

since this is such a complex answer, i’m going to go a lot more in depth with my opinions, but may i emphasize that these are my opinions. this is a topic that really does depend on who you’re talking to, but i’m seeing this with a “here are the facts in correlation to my experience, therefore this is my conclusion”.

i’m putting a ‘keep reading’ cut because i’ll be mentioning some very mildly NSFW stuff (in reference to my answer), therefore proceed with slight caution

to start this off, we have to think of the context of smut, how it’s used within fanfics, and the implications of reading smut. for sake of the argument, i’m not going to write what type of relationship is showcased in the smut *yet*

there is, of course, many types of smut. porn with plot, porn without plot, smut that’s within a larger fic that may only take up 10% of the story, if even that, etc.

in addition, we have to keep in mind what purpose smut usually serves within a fandom setting. it’s unlike most pornographic content, as in there’s a pre-set character and a context that they’re in (typically), as in reference to a setting we’r familiar with. we care about these people, and they’re performing a bodily action that hey, (most) people do at some point in their lives! in my opinion, (some) smut is comparable to television shows on premium networks that allow sexual content within the scenes. it’s a general “oh boy, they’re fucking! golly-jee!”

with the context of smut and the types of smut in mind, let’s dig deeper

let’s split them into two groups: fics that are about smut vs. fics that have smut.

let’s dig into fics with smut:

fics with smut, whether porn with plot or larger fics with smut in them typically follow a guideline of a story. they’re not there as just an outright fuck-fest, but rather have a story to tell. yes, even porn with plot. for example, here’s a pretty stereotypical porn with plot: person A and person B know each other somehow (sometimes friends, sometimes enemies! who knows!) and end up hooking up. then they do it again. and again. oh boy now they’re smashing but wait, there’s feelings??? what now!!! well, now there’s probably an emotional fuck, which leads to them talking and resolving into a relationship, right?

there’s a story told within that; it isn’t simply characters just smashing to smash, it’s an analysis into a character’s personality and how they would react to a situation that (typically) involves emotional attachment through sexual actions. hence, the term porn with plot. it’s like any other story, just with, yknow, sex as the driving factor.

then of course, there’s the story with smut. typically these involve either relationship building or established relationships where smut is used for one of two reasons, both of which involve trust. whether it’s a couple’s first time being shown in the fic, or it’s shown in the fic as part of their routine as a couple, or maybe even to show comfort. sex is, after all, isn’t inherently taboo and for most people, it’s a common part of life, so some writers chose to include it in order to show that.

let’s look at fics that are about smut now:

oh boy, someone’s getting down and dirty. you open the fic and maybe there’s a little exposition, but surely enough, a couple paragraphs down and wham, they’re at it.

there are called porn without plot. these fics can explore a number of things, such as possible headcanoned or canon kinks a character may or may not have, or it could be an exploration into how a character may act in a sexual setting, and so on.

with that aside, it’s still one thing and one thing only: sex. nothing much else to it. they smash, then it’s over. maybe it finishes with them cuddling or going on with their day, but that’s all. there’s no fancy way to put this, they’re just fucking! it’s probably the closest thing we get to pornography in fandoms without super-committed cosplayers and/or artists.

therefore, i need to highlight that that fics that are about smut are pornographic in nature. i’m not gonna call them outright porn, but they call it that themselves. porn with plot.

may i also include, before we continue, that there’s no shame in porn overall. i’m a sex-positive person and i say hey! have fun, adults! yknow, as long as you’re consuming it ethically!

now the difference is cleared, let’s look at consuming smut in correlation to one’s sexuality.

may i emphasize that we’re using “porn without plot” as something used to evoke arousal in those attracted to the people within them in the context of these examples. i am aware that there are plenty of people who read them just for the sake of cheering on their faves gettin’ it on, but i’m using a hypothetical context. 

let’s use a couple example people in example situations.

straight guy read WLW porn without plot

straight gal reads MLM porn without plot

lesbian gal reads MLM porn without plot

lesbian gal reads WLW porn without plot

straight gal reads WLW porn without plot

immediately, we see a stereotypical, frequently referenced situation: straight guys watching (or in this case reading) WLW porn. most people see that automatically as wrong, right? this is because he’s unethically consuming this content that’s of people he’s attracted to and therefore sexualizing for their SGA (same gender attraction) and consequentially, fetishization. 

in the same type of content, a lesbian gal consuming WLW porn isn’t unethical; she’s expressing her own sexuality through content of people like her.

let’s flip it. straight gal consuming MLM porn is literally the same thing as a straight guy consuming WLW porn. that’s it. it’s not rocket science, it’s someone consuming media that’s the sexualization of SGA in someone they find attractive, therefore is, say it with me, fetishization. 

but we have a lesbian gal reading MLM porn. what’s she going to get out of it? probably, nothing, right? so what about the straight gal reading WLW porn? i think that’s fine, since hey, she’s not getting anything out of it! it’s not her fetishizing it for her own satisfaction.

i see the last types of situations as “sideline cheering”. i know this may sound odd, but your faves are getting it on and you just feel like cheering for them? yeah! cheer! i’ll use an example of friendships: i have MLM friends who tell me about their sexual experiences with their partners, and i’m not attracted to men, but i’ll cheer them on as a friend hearing about their friend’s good times (in a situation were we both open to sharing these details, of course). i see reading porn without plot while it doesn’t apply to you as that kinda stuff; supporting your pals having a good ol’ time.

now to move onto situations of fics with smut in them.

personally, i feel like anyone can read fics with smut in them because they tell a story. they serve a purpose of storytelling, and they just so happen to include sex, perhaps as a plot point, but maybe as an exploration of character(s) in a deeper way than “i wonder what they’d do in bed”.

now, i know that sometimes, the situation blurs, but for the sake of the question at hand, i’d say the context depends on specifically what type of smut the straight person is consuming.

again, as a disclaimer, this is my opinion. i fully understand people who have differing opinions in this, but this is just how i feel about the subject. 

[human-resourccs]

He Just Likes The Rush - Ch. 2

First Chapter Here.

Next Chapter Here.

In which poor long-term decisions are made and strange friendships are forged.

~1870 words.

It had been roughly a month since Jonathan Crane had caught the eye of Gotham's very own resident Riddler, and with each completed trap room Edward had only found his interest piqued further. Nobody had ever done anything like this before - not… not willingly, anyway - and never with such perceived…

He frowned slightly, searching for the word. Determination? Compulsion? Both and neither would suit.

Like clockwork, once or twice a week he would trip a switch and escape with mere seconds to spare. He'd suspected, and promptly had said suspicions confirmed, that Jonathan was not simply wandering into harm's way due to some sort of spectacular death wish; a caught glimpse of a weak smile that could only be described as 'giddy' upon exiting to safety on one occasion made it clear he was enjoying his brushes with death.

...That being said, the Riddler would still be adamant that there was no threat if you had even a quarter of a brain cell to your name.

At any rate, the man was proving to be quite a great source of amusement. Edward had begun to look forward to these little shows, wondering what the limits of this stranger's intelligence were. He was almost rooting for him. Almost. In his background check - because of course he did a little research on him - he'd come across the doctor's thesis on the innate fears of human nature; it was a good read despite the absurdity of it. He was never driven by fear, after all. Perhaps it rang true for the common man, though. Maybe it wasn’t quite as crazy as he thought. Hmh.

It was then, as he observed the other emerge unharmed for the umpteenth time that he realised that this was becoming an unnecessary distraction; he kept finding himself wondering if the man would make good conversation. He was quite obviously a cut above the rest with regards to his intelligence. Obsession with fear aside, it was… difficult… to find intelligent - or even non-hostile - conversation amid the other Rogues. It left his mind feeling stifled; like kicking against the bedsheets that stick to your legs on a hot night. A rubber duck could only do so much with regards to any given discussion.

This would not do at all. Edward did not have the time to waste on hypotheticals, what-ifs, or maybes. Uncertainties were what he was put on this planet to solve and he resolved to do so immediately and with all of the grace and finesse that he was so famous for.

There was really nothing else for it. No answer to be had that didn't involve simply meeting this fellow for himself. It wasn't as if he had much to lose, and a tolerable conversation partner to gain. Where was the harm?

--

Jonathan was no fool; he had presumed that his repeated ventures would have garnered the Riddler's attention at some point or another. He simply was not concerned. If the rogue had any issues with the setup, he would have made them abundantly clear to him before now - subtlety pointedly not his strong suit, despite his proclamations of finesse.

This, however, did not mean that Jonathan had not been preparing for the eventuality that he would be confronted by him; on the contrary, he considered it an opportunity. Not exactly the picture of morality and quite frankly becoming tired of sneaking mediocre, watered-down chemicals from the university lab, he needed better resources. Making a few connections to the underhanded workings of Gotham would speed things along quite nicely, actually. If he played his cards right he might even find himself in a position to discontinue testing on volunteering students and move onto folk that'd be…. Less likely to be missed.

His research was being restricted by the need to stay well within safe parameters; as much as he enjoyed working with the steady stream of failing students seeking extra credit, it really just wasn't feasible to push their minds and bodies as far as he really wanted to. Needed to. The frustration of knowing that he could be doing so much more with his work was becoming increasingly harder to bear; a little more mental effort each time to show restraint. His patience would only extend so far.

So it was really quite convenient for him to find that upon his return home from his late-night working that the Riddler had unceremoniously broken into his small apartment and simply made himself at home, apparently.

As he fumbled loosely with the keys to the door he was met with a familiar voice, free from the crackling and slight fuzz of cheap stereo speakers.

"You really live like this? And here I thought the uproar of the day was supposed to be professors being paid too much."

Convenient, if incredibly irritating in a way that Jonathan found he'd already become bizarrely accustomed to due to the repeated exposure to him via audio playback.

"I think I saw a colony of rats starting to form a rudimentary monarchy in your couch stuffing. Something about rallying against the sentient mould on the wall."

Jonathan cocked an eyebrow and turned to close the door, responding in deadpan;

"Wasn't aware I was due company. Would've thrown a blanket over it."

The quiet noise of disgust behind him brought an amused smirk to his face. So he kept a clean house, then. Noted.

He brought himself to a neutral expression again as he turned to properly regard his welcome intruder; his current exhaustion was quickly depleting his patience toward niceties, but he was determined to make the most of what may be his only chance at such a connection.

The Riddler was standing in the doorway to his living room, leaning against the door frame by what appeared to be the fewest points of physical contact he could manage whilst still looking nonchalant. Germaphobe, then? Jonathan inclined his head to the side slightly, and paced further into the apartment.

"You intending to stay a while?"

"If you're offering tea, I think I'll politely-but-firmly decline."

"Suit yourself."

Definitely a germaphobe.

He strode past the man into the living room, shucking his jacket and throwing it over the back of the slightly sunken, worn couch that sat flush with the wall. The Riddler had turned, slightly stunned and possibly offended by the lack of surprise at his sudden arrival, and followed suit into the room

Perhaps Edward should've opened up with a musical number instead.

Opting to stand, he leaned forward slightly upon his cane - one that mirrored the gaudy depiction of the first death trap, Jonathan noticed - and recovering quickly from his slight shock, tilted his head with a flashy smile.

"You're a rather curious man, Doctor Crane."

He held out a gloved hand, palm up.

"What kind of University professor risks his life on a regular basis for kicks? Now that is a conundrum."

Jonathan met his gaze but made no comment, which Edward immediately presumed to be an indicator to continue, which he did.

"And the answer, well, I was certainly pleasantly surprised. You're quite a busy man when you aren't grading papers and tripping death-… solving puzzles."

Jonathan wondered why the Riddler's domino mask seemed to have such a great deal of work put into it. The eyes were completely obscured; didn't look like regular glass, but he was no expert with hardware. He remained silent, brow furrowed slightly.

"Imagine my abject shock and horror to find that the head of psychology at Gotham University was holding highly unethical after-school clubs! Positively dastardly."

"Mmh. So what are you here for, then, Mister Riddler? You're not going to turn me in, and it's clear you've got no quarrels with me."

Edward's smirk dropped slightly. Maybe he wasn't a fan of being interrupted mid-spiel. Best not to tell him how he'd learned to tune out his obnoxious speeches, then. Jonathan conceded the man's genius status, and loathed that he chose to display it with such absurd grandiose.

"Straight to the point then, eh? Fine. Boring, but fine."

He repeated the gesture with his hand, holding it out before Jonathan. The grin found its way back onto his face.

"You're an intellectual. I'm an intellectual. Let's be friends, shall we?"

For the first time that evening, Jonathan was actually mildly shocked. He frowned lightly, glancing down at the hand extended to him.

"…Friends."

"Well, about as friendly as two madmen in Gotham city can be, anyway."

Edward emphasised the word "madmen" with a mocking tone usually saved for schoolyard name-calling.

"After all, have you seen the average everyman in this city? This country? Much as I adore the sound of my own voice, I would like a little input that isn't my own in conversation now and again. Besides!-"

He straightened himself in a smooth motion, tossing up his cane in order to grip it about the middle - punctuating his sentence by giving it a slight sideways flick.

"I do so loathe to see a fellow genius so restricted by the morons around him. My heart bleeds for you, truly. Though I can't quite sympathise with your... chosen field, shall we say? I'd certainly be willing to lend a helping hand to a friend. That is what you're after, yes?"

Jonathan would admit that the Riddler had pitched the proposal rather well. Obviously he knew exactly what he'd been going to say from the moment he broke in; and this was precisely the sort of deal he had been hoping to make. He had no interest in any kind of companionship; there was a reason he never socialised with the other staff.

However… the few observations he'd made in the past few moments were intriguing. Maybe he could still find entertainment in this, too. What had a self-proclaimed supervillain to fear? And what exactly was it that caused so many of them to congregate in this city, of all places in America? As he considered it, he did find the thought interesting; as any man of science would, he couldn't exactly leave such a question unanswered when the opportunity was right in front of him.

Yes, this would suit him quite well, he supposed. Risky, of course, but after all, he did enjoy calculated risks; this would dramatically speed up his research, he hoped to have a more potent, fully functional revision of his toxin by the end of the next month.

He wasn't to know, of course, that he would be doing much more than clinical tests by then. So much more.

"Doctor Crane, my arm is going to wither and fall off if you take any longer to come to a decision."

He blinked, having realised he'd been staring at the outstretched hand for a fairly long moment.

Right.

Without hesitating a moment longer, he shook the Riddler's hand.

"I do think we have a deal."

[thestefidelly]

SUBJECT 204

(fanfic) (Ao3)

Summary: Belle is accepted into an exclusive internship at a facility that studies supernatural occurrences, gifted individuals and cryptids. Something about their methods rubs Belle the wrong way, but she tries to let it slide... until she finds out about Subject 204. 

Main Pairing: Red Beauty, but it might be slowburn? We’ll see how things go, but they’re definitely endgame.

Other Pairings: Possible Swan Queen and Sleeping Warrior, but I’m not sure yet. Regina and Emma will definitely be key characters though. Peter x Red is part of Ruby’s history; Belle has a mild crush on Gold but that goes away of course.

Notes: I’m pretty hyped up about this and have up to at least chapter five already written out, so for this week, @redbeautyweek , I’ll try to release a chapter a day and then possibly slow down after, depending on how well I fare with time management. So here goes.

Trigger Warnings: For this chapter, nothing major, but later down the line, there may be blood and mentions of abuse. It’s kind of just danced around in this chapter.

CHAPTER ONE

Heart pounding violently against her chest, fists clenched so hard her fingernails were cutting into her palms, the subject grit her teeth and breathed through her nose, air coming in and out short and fast.

The metal clamped around her wrists were lined with silver, burning hot against her raw skin.

"Just relax, dearie." Though the words on their own were supposed to be comforting, the tone was almost mocking. The head scientist's smile hovered over her face and it looked almost predatory. 

Rough palms pressed against her cheek and the woman tried to turn her head away but the collar around her neck left her with little room for movement. The only choice was to clench her jaw and screw her eyes shut as his hands caressed her damp face before running fingers through her unwashed hair.

He brushed her hair back then grabbed a fistful in his hand, forcing her to tilt her head up and pulling just enough to signal for her to open her eyes and look at him.

"You know dearie," the scientist practically purred the words in a slimy voice that still made her cringe. "It would be so much more convenient.” Pinpricks of pain ran through her scalp as he pulled just a little harder. "If we just got rid of this."

A snarl rumbled in her throat as she tried to jerk her head away from his hand, only for the collar to burn against her neck. She coughed as the metal pressed against her throat when she tried to shake her head free.

His grip tightened and he yanked her head back down. She gasped as the back of her skull hit the metal table she was strapped to.

"Now there's no need for that." The scientist spoke to her like she was either a small child or a misbehaving dog. "We'll keep that mane of yours then."

Brushing her hair back again, he started putting in the scanners and wires she'd almost gotten used to having all over her skull. "For now."

Excitement bubbled through Belle as she set aside her notebooks, tablet, pens, books and forms. She'd already packed up her bag several times the night before but here she was again, doing it for… well, she'd lost count by now how many times she'd packed and repacked her things.

This was the opportunity of a lifetime and she couldn't stand the thought of not being appropriately prepared with all the items she needed.

The paperwork was probably the most important part. The acceptance letter, the bio data, some additional 1x1 ID pictures. Those things, if left behind would be the most humiliating disaster.

But maybe she needed some other things too? Some of her reference books perhaps? Or her notes and research? Or the thesis papers that helped get her accepted? Would they need that? Was she overthinking?

"BELLE!" Her father called from the living room. "You'd better get moving or you're going to be late for your first day! What's the hold up?"

"C-coming!" Belle scurried from one end of her room to the other then back to her bag, deciding at the last minute to leave her thesis files and just go basic with the forms, a notebook and some pens. She hesitated for a moment before deciding to bring her tablet as well since that at least had a softcopy of her thesis.

Her father was already waiting at the front door by the time Belle finally went out of her room, bag at her shoulder. She took her keys from him, gave him a goodbye kiss and headed for her car. The drive to the facility was longer than usual and even if Belle had already been there once at Dr. Gold's invitation to apply, it was hard to remember the route because of her excitement. Thank the universe for waze.

By the time she arrived, parked, signed in, Belle felt just about ready to explode with anticipation. She was joined by a few other people also accepted into the internship. They were told to wait in a lounge with cushioned black seats and white walls.

Nobody was interested in making conversation. Two of the others took to studying their forms and getting things in other, another scrolled through her phone.

Belle obsessively counted the seconds and minutes that passed. One thousand three hundred fifty-six. Fifty-seven. Fifty-eight. Fifty nine seconds. One thousand three hundred and sixty seconds.

The door opened. Belle fidgeted in her seat as a small, scrawny man strode in. His hair was slicked back and his labcoat was neatly pressed. An aura of power and authority was enough to counteract what he lacked in height.

"Good morning, dearies." With a twinkle in his eye, he smiled at them all. A few gold teeth caught in the light. "As you know, I am Doctor Robert Gold and the four of you alone were accepted into this program. However, only one of you," Dr. Gold made eye contact with Belle and she fidgeted wth her phone in her hands. "…will be chosen to work with our staff fulltime at the end of the program."

One of the other girls eyed everyone else with an expression somewhere between challenging and suspicious. Belle wondered if there was a lot at stake for her.

"Now," Dr. Gold pulled a remote out of his pocket and pushed a button.

The screen behind him lit up and a photo of a young woman came onscreen, looking to be roughly Belle's age, with a scar on her lip and wavy, shoulder-length hair.

"This," Pushing another button to activate the lazer pointer, Dr. Gold encircled the picture. "Is Subject 201, Regina Mills."

The next slide showed Regina's file.

Name: Regina Mills

Age: 23

Hair: Black

Eyes: Brown

Distinguishing Features: Scar across lip

Abilities: Telekinesis, underdeveloped biokinesis and pyrokinesis, potential ESP, one recorded instance of levitation; has shown ability to accelerate healing and regeneration.

Other notes: May have undiagnosed mental illness, prone to temper tantrums. Highly intelligent. Student leader in high school and elementary.

Dr. Gold allowed them time to read through the file for a minute or two, then he stepped in front of the screen. "Off the record, we suspect there may also be abuse of some sort, though it's difficult to say since she refuses to discuss her home situation."

A push of the button showed another face onscreen. "This is her mother, Cora Mills. We have limited records of her that are up to date, but a few decades ago, in her adolescent years she was tested for similar abilities and paid a small allowance by the facility. She refuses now to be tested, but has offered her daughter for testing in exchange for a stipend."

The girl who was suspiciously eyeing everyone a moment ago raised her hand. Dr. Gold nodded to her. "So are you saying that you think the mom is just using her kid for money?"

Scratching at his stubbly chin, Dr. Gold paused a moment before shrugging. "We're not psychologists, but, off the record, yes, dearie. I believe that may be the case."

"If that may be the case," Belle found herself thinking out loud, "Do you think she could be at risk of losing control of her abilities if her emotional stability is questionable?"

She wrung her hands together, recalling her research on correlations between emotion and psychic abilities. "You mentioned in your notes that she may have undiagnosed mental illness and said yourself that abuse in her household is possible."

Gesturing dismissively, almost feeling like her thought might not be valid, "I mean this is hypothetical of course, but if her household and her emotional state are unstable, as you suspect, would you say there's a correlation between the prominence of her abilities now and her heightened emotional state?"

Dr. Gold nodded and his smile made the gold in his teeth gleam. "Yes, dearie, exactly! There has been a peak in her abilities of late, and the recorded instance of levitation is very recent. The pyrokinesis? It's always when she's being particularly snippy towards our staff."

"So," The other girl toyed with her pen while side-eyeing Belle, "If she may be approaching a breakdown, we want to see if that triggers a peak in her abilities and therefore have that peak on record?"

"Exactly, Tamara, dearie." Dr. Gold put his hands in his pockets and shrugged, "Not that we want someone to suffer an emotional breakdown, of course. But this case we're studying now has the potential to lead to some breakthroughs."

Something about the situation rubbed Belle the wrong way. It felt… wrong to be hoping for a person to have an emotional breakdown just so they could see if it would trigger a surge in supernatural abilities. Wasn't that unethical?

Belle squirmed in her seat and bit her lip before racing her hand.

"Yes, Belle?"

The giddiness she got at hearing her name on Dr. Gold's lips was stupid and Belle tried to swallow that feeling down so she could speak, "Should we be… worried about her though?"

"We…" Dr. Gold shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Well, we are concerned. But like I said, we're scientists studying her abilities, not psychologists. It's not our place to counsel her, really. Just study her."

Belle nodded, torn between her discomfort with the ethical implications and her own juvenile eagerness to please the prestigious scientist.

"Moving on," Dr. Gold shut off the screen. "There's another subject I'll be allowing you to study later on, but for now, who wants to meet Subject 201?"

[lesliepump]

Podcast #143: The Past, Present, and Future of Unbundled Legal Services, with Forrest Mosten

In this episode, the “Father of Unbundling,” Forrest (“Woody”) Mosten explains how unbundled services came to law practice, discusses the future of unbundling and its potential for closing the access-to-justice gap, and lays out some best practices for lawyers who want to offer unbundled services.

Forrest Mosten

Forrest (“Woody”) Mosten is internationally recognized as the “Father of Unbundling” for his pioneering work in limited scope representation to provide affordable and understandable legal services to the underserved members of our society. He is in solo private practice as a family lawyer and mediator in Los Angeles in which unbundling, collaborative practice, representing clients in mediation and other non-litigation conflict prevention activities are the foundation of his work with clients.

You can follow Forrest on LinkedIn.

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This transcript was prepared by Rev.com.

Voiceover: Welcome to The Lawyerist Podcast with Sam Glover and Aaron Street. Each week, Lawyerist brings you advice then interviews to help you build a more successful law practice in today’s challenging and constantly changing legal market. And now, here are Sam and Aaron.

Sam Glover: Hi, I’m Sam Glover.

Aaron Street: And I’m Aaron Street. And this is episode 143 of The Lawyerist Podcast, part of the Legal Talk Network.

Today we’re talking with the father of unbundled services, Forrest Mosten.

Sam Glover: Today’s podcast is sponsored by Ruby Receptionists and its smart, charming receptionists who are perfect for small firms. Visit callruby.com/lawyerist to get a risk-free trial with Ruby.

Aaron Street: Today’s podcast is also sponsored by Clio Legal Practice Management Software. Clio makes running your law firm easier. Try it for free today at clio.com.

So Sam, Lawyerist has been around for 10 years and in that time you’ve probably either written or solicited 50 posts related to unbundled services and alternative pricing models and I’m excited for today’s conversation but I’m also a little wary because it’s hard for me to conceive how this is still a thing we need to talk about.

Sam Glover: It is. Forrest is great. He started calling it unbundled services, he was one of the pioneers of it. He does it very old school and he admits that during our show. But I can’t believe we still have to convince people that they should be considering limited scope representation and unbundled services as one of the models that they use to approach law practice. It’s really common sense to me and it was common sense to Forrest a long time ago and I wish it were common sense to everybody ’cause it would be a pretty key thing to help close the access to justice gap by letting people get less services but still adequate services for less money.

Aaron Street: Is it fair to assume that we think there are hypothetical straw men, boogeymen out there who still object the idea that this is an okay solution?

Sam Glover: I’m sure there’s some people who object. Most of the time it’s like anything else, it’s what I’m doing seems fine to me and so I don’t really need to do anything different. That seems like the biggest enemy of progress to me.

Aaron Street: So it’s inertia not hatred.

Sam Glover: Yeah, I think so.

Aaron Street: What I would like is if this were a really controversial subject and if there’s a podcast listener who’s really fired up about what bullshit unbundled services is how the billable hour or contingent fee can never die in their practice area. I want them to pick a Twitter fight with you or something after this episode.

Sam Glover: Fair, if you’re listening and you think unbundled services are stupid and unethical or just stupid, hit me up on Twitter, drop me a line and I’d like to have you on the podcast and we can fight about it. But barring that, let’s learn from Forrest and then just everybody do it so we don’t have to keep talking about it.

Aaron Street: Indeed.

Forrest Mosten: Hello, I’m Forrest Mosten and I’m in Los Angeles, I’m a fellow attorney who works in family law and never goes to court.

Sam Glover: Same, we’re about that. How do you avoid court?

Forrest Mosten: I’ve been sober for nearly 20 years. Made a decision that courts are the place of last resort but that the people I try to help usually end up much worse and much poorer no matter what kind of a job I was doing and I so decided to devote the rest of my career to working with people to resolving conflict outside of the court system.

Sam Glover: So your focus is family law, right? You focus on mediation and collaborative divorce, it sounds like.

Forrest Mosten: Yes. As well as working in a limited scope manner with people who otherwise aren’t represented.

Sam Glover: Which brings us the focus of the podcast which is that you came up with that whole concept, it sounds like. Or at least you were instrumental in it.

Forrest Mosten: Lots of people have contributed to it, Sam and let me just say that the presence of unrepresented litigants is both an opportunity and a challenge for the families of this country and the court system and we had to try to find a way that would help those people who either could not or chose not to have lawyers to get some help to both protect their rights and keep their matters private and within their family.

Sam Glover: How did you come up with the concept? Or how did you begin doing limited scope representation?

Forrest Mosten: It’s actually a great story. In the late 70s I was assistant regional director for the Federal Trade Commission in Los Angeles and we were investigating the real estate industry and at that time as now, many people don’t want to pay a 5, 6, or 7% commission to real estate brokers. So they wanted to sell their houses themselves. The problem was, how do you get a buyer, even if you have your own flags and escrow documents, et cetera that you can buy from a commercial company such as Help You Sell and there are others on the market. The way that consumers found buyers was through what we called maverick real estate brokers. Brokers who were willing to unbundle their services and just let for a flat fee, let the home buyer get onto the Multiple Listing Service to which the brokers were subscribers.

You can imagine the other real estate brokers saw red there and were not very happy and started to blackball these maverick brokers. So the Federal Trade Commission investigated that and we were able to work out some [unclear] and that was in 1979. I went back into law practice, practicing family law and mediation and about 12 years later, it’s funny how good ideas sometimes take, have a long latency period, I was serving on an ABA committee that was studying unrepresented litigants and the findings, this was in Arizona, the findings of the researchers commissioned by the ABA, were that this was an exploding phenomenon of people representing themselves but they didn’t do so well. They didn’t do so well in achieving their rights and being able to handle it in an adversarial lawyer dominated world. And the conclusion was if they just had a little bit of help, little bit of legal help, it might work.

I’m sitting in a meeting and somehow my FTC experience came to my vortex and I said something like, “Why don’t we unbundled our legal services? And just make them available in discreet tasks that people can pay for as they go?” Well, this was new to, not just to me, but to everyone in the room. This committee called the Standing Committee of Legal Services …

Sam Glover: Wait, let me guess, the first reaction was that that can’t possibly be ethical, right?

Forrest Mosten: Actually that’s not true.

Sam Glover: Really?

Forrest Mosten: ABA has been the leader for this type of public interest legal access. They have been the undisputed leaders in getting new rules that would make it easier for lawyers to unbundle and for having policy from the house of delegates that approved it. This committee was at the absolute center of that. The staff council is still there, his name is William Hornsby.

Sam Glover: Oh, of course. Well if Will was there, that makes sense.

Forrest Mosten: If you know him, you know what a wonderful inspiration he’s been over all these decades. It’s really him and the various committee members that came after me that have made this work.

Sam Glover: How did you go about actually bringing that into representation though? I know that it isn’t always easy to introduce a new concept like this into, especially once you get to courts, but even to make clients understand what it is that you’re trying to do.

Forrest Mosten: Actually Sam, it’s a lot easier than you think. People, actually I have a dream. And one of my dreams is that one day there’ll be a rule that says before anyone goes, any lawyer has a client sign a full-service contract, there is a duty to inform the client that limited scope service is available as well so they can make an informed consent, consumer choice. But even without that rule, I found the clients loved that possibility when they were short of money, as most people are and when they have the ability to handle parts of the job it was a, it’s a pretty easy sell. The whole idea of lawyers having retainers and full service meant there’s an option just doesn’t seem to resonate as well with the public as it has done with lawyers. While full service is clearly an option and it’s the preferred option by many, some who can afford it and some who can’t, those who know about limited scope and can find lawyers that will offer it, find that it’s very, very satisfying and meets their needs.

In fact, it meets their needs so much that malpractice insurance carriers encourage actually almost beg their insured to, who are lawyers, to unbundle. Lawyer’s Mutual, one of the most prominent malpractice insurance companies in California has done a major educational effort to get their lawyers, their policyholders, to unbundle and you can guess why. Almost no claims.

Sam Glover: I suppose.

Forrest Mosten: Virtually no claims at all. The reason is that people are satisfied.

Sam Glover: Maybe we should back up. I feel like I just dove right in and started talking about unbundled services and limited scope representation and maybe in 2017 most lawyers, that’s fair. Maybe most lawyers know what it is now. But maybe let’s give some examples. When you give clients that option in your own practice, what kinds of unbundled arrangements do you come to? What do they look like? What is this package or the service? How do you describe it?

Forrest Mosten: I could really talk two ways. One, what is the process look like? And second, what roles, unbundled roles, could I play? Fact, I’ll let you, since it’s your program, you decide which one I talk about first.

Sam Glover: Talk about the roles that you play. Let’s frame it around that.

Forrest Mosten: The most important role, is that of advisor. For a client to be able to come to me and just pay for an hour of my time and I’ve been doing it for a long time and there are a lot of experienced lawyers who in an hour can really help somebody get a plan of action. It is up then to the client, do they want they same lawyer to do the work for them, to be the provider as well as the advisor or do they want to then take it on from there? But it’s that hour that people will pay for and they’ll pay my hourly rate, I have no unpaid bills, which is a great thing for lawyers and for clients ’cause the client never wants to be behind and owe a lawyer money, it doesn’t work very well for the relationship and they have enough problems without being in debt to lawyers. People pay as they go. Advice, whether or not, depending on how much work I’m going to be doing, advice is the foundation.

A second role and I find it the probably the one I do the most, is ghost writing. That is let’s say letters. A client, some of the letters that spouses going through a divorce write each other, should never make it to the open media. They are very brutal and generally not very effective for the person who wrote it. Hurtful to the recipient and devastating to the writer if it ever gets introduced in court against them. In the shadows, a client can bring a letter or an email or a text to me before she or he sends it, I can then look at it quickly, I can say, “Well, maybe this can come out and you might want to redo that and you got yourself a decent letter.” That can save people tremendous unnecessary conflict and certainly expense.

A second way is that they, the client thinks they need my letterhead to be on the letter.

Sam Glover: Oh yeah, people really think that.

Forrest Mosten: And they want me to write the letter but I won’t do anything else. So I’ll write the other client or his or her lawyer and indicate that I’ve been hired just to write this letter to articulate my client’s position and the response should go to my client. If my client wants the response to go to me, then I will handle the negotiations. But they don’t have to. They can unbundle the drafting from the representation and negotiation. When people are negotiating themselves, as often happens in family matters, they’re sometimes actually living in the same home, I can act as a negotiation coach. Clients come in, let’s say it’s the husband, I play the wife and we pretend that we’re at Starbucks having a latte and the husband says, “And regarding summer camp, I would like X.”

And they don’t always say it in such a non-adversarial tone. So then we go over it. And we might switch roles. I’ll play him and he can play his wife and see how it feels. That is a simulation practice. I can’t overstate how important that is so that people can work out their own situation without lawyers, without mediators, they can just do it.

Sam Glover: We need to take a quick break to hear from our sponsors and when we come back I want to talk more about how you decide how to price this. Because you talked about one of the benefits of being that you never have to worry about collections. I want to touch more on that. We’ll be back in just a few minutes.

This podcast is supported Ruby Receptionists. As a matter of fact, Ruby answers our phones at Lawyerist and my firm was a paying Ruby customer before that. Here’s what I love about Ruby. When I’m in the middle of something, I hate to be interrupted so when the phone rings, it annoys me and that often carries over into the conversation I have after I pick up the phone which I why I’m better off not answering my own phone. Instead, Ruby answers the phone and if the person on the other end asks for me, a friendly cheerful receptionist from Ruby calls me and asks if I want them to put the call through. It’s a buffer that gives me a minute to let go of my annoyance and be a better human being during the call. If you want to be a better human being on the phone, give Ruby a try. Go to callruby.com/lawyerist to sign up and Ruby will waive the $95 setup fee. If you aren’t happy with Ruby for any reason, you can get your money back during your first three weeks. I’m pretty you’ll stick around but since there is no risk, you might as well try.

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Sam Glover: Okay, and we’re back. Forrest, you talked about one of the benefits being that when you do unbundled services you get paid upfront and you’re not carrying bills from your clients. How do you think about pricing? How do you price your unbundled services and how do you talk about that with clients?

Forrest Mosten: Sam, I never thought I was about to say what I’m about to say but I’m a first generation unbundler. I’m almost a horse and buggy unbundler. There have been a lot more wonderful models that have come since I’ve started but I still do it the old fashioned way. People pay me for my time, they know how much, I give them an estimate of how much time that will be and that’s all I’ll do. If they want an hour or two, that’s what they’ll pay for and I won’t give them any more time and they’re done. Other wonderful lawyers do a flat fee for various work whether it’s drafting or it’s negotiation or working by the day and people can really get even a better consumer idea than working from with me.

Sam Glover: It seems to me that with limited scope representation, limiting the scope is really key especially when you’re billing by the hour and so there’s no automatic endpoint that you might be understood. Does that mean you’re assigning a retainer every single time you agree to do work for a client?

Forrest Mosten: No, you start with a special limited scope agreement and actually many states have templates that are available and I have the one that I use and it’s got a little checklist and the checklist is what are the services that I’m going to work on. One of those that I’ll never work on is making a limited court appearance for clients. I never do that ’cause I’ve retired from my court work. But there are really qualified family lawyers who will make a limited scope appearance and not have to do the whole thing but just do one hearing or one motion and that’s it and the client will be able to do the rest of it and keep the cost down. There are in many states, and I can think of right now in Maine, in Colorado and Florida and California, approved forms that the courts will take and other counsel will respect that indicates the limitation of scope.

That is a real benefit for clients because number one, the lawyers aren’t afraid to make a limited court appearance because after the appearance they can get out and they don’t have to keep representing that client and the client doesn’t have to keep paying. In the many states I know your podcast may go well beyond the states I mentioned, in those other states the public and the lawyers don’t have that advantage. In fact, there’s going to be a national unbundling conference, I don’t know if you’re aware of that.

Sam Glover: Yeah, tell us about it.

Forrest Mosten: It is on the 26th and 27th of this month in Denver and it is the second national unbundling conference. The first was in 2000 in Baltimore. Now 17 years have gone by and in those 17 years the state of the art right now is that most states have the laws, they just don’t have the implementation. This is called an ABA Implementation Conference to try to get states to get unbundling and limited scope work into the courts, get educational programs approved by the states and get lawyers on the local level to learn about it, get trained in it and offer it to clients.

Sam Glover: Can we expect to see model rules and templates coming out of this, for example?

Forrest Mosten: The interesting thing is the rules are there. They are in 40 states, they have limited scope rules and opinions. It isn’t the rules, it’s the implementation of those rules. There’s going to be actually a national unbundling training for lawyers on the 5th and 6th of March in Chicago. Are you aware of AFCC, the Association of Family on Conciliation Courts out of Madison Wisconsin? They’re sponsoring it. It’s an interdisciplinary organization, AFCC is well known in the family field for interdisciplinary work and it’s executive director, Peter Salem is very, very supportive of unbundled services and is offering this training and I’ll be the trainer.

Sam Glover: I’ve heard that something like 75 to 85% of family court litigants are unrepresented so it would make sense that there’s almost a crisis or maybe there is a crisis in family law where people really need more help and this seems like probably the only realistic way to get it to them.

Forrest Mosten: It’s absolutely true. It’s absolutely true and it’s obvious to judges, it’s obvious to national organizations and it will be obvious more to the public and to the Main Street lawyer soon.

Sam Glover: What kind of guidance can we give to lawyers who are favorable to unbundling whether because of this podcast or already were but just aren’t sure how to go about implementing it.

Forrest Mosten: The first thing is just to remember the two benefits. One, no receivables. You get paid. And number two, there have been virtually no claims. It’s safe and it’s profitable.

Sam Glover: But aren’t you, this an objection that I can imagine which is, but I want to get paid more. I want the $3,000 retainer. I don’t want the $500 or the $200 piecemeal representation. I want the big chunks.

Forrest Mosten: You talking about the lawyers now?

Sam Glover: Yeah.

Forrest Mosten: Actually there’s two benefits for lawyers. One, the little chunk may be better than no chunk at all. Remember the number of people who go unrepresented completely. And second, it isn’t so easy to represent yourself even with a little legal help and so what happens is that if in fact the other party or lawyer is very, very difficult or doing the work is much harder than the client thought, guess who they’ll hire for full service? It’s that lawyer who was willing to do limited scope service. It is a fabulous way to get new clients.

Sam Glover: And to be realistic the legal process is complicated from end to end because somebody comes to hire you for one unbundled service at the beginning, it is increasingly likely that they’re going to need more throughout the course of their representation.

Forrest Mosten: Sam, you’re exactly right. And people really appreciate it. They really appreciate also the spirit of unbundling. The lawyers that unbundle care about helping. That’s why they do it. You’re not going to make a fortune doing it. On the other hand, it’s a very nice way to make a living.

Sam Glover: Although, I would say so my approach to unbundling in my practice was to do flat fees. Since I wasn’t billing by the hour, I was able to find efficiencies and I found that if I was getting a day when I was doing one unbundled thing after another, I was usually making substantially more than my hourly fee would have been. If you can scale it, there’s actually plenty of opportunity to make than you would otherwise.

Forrest Mosten: I absolutely agree with that. In fact, Sam, you are welcome to come to this conference.

Sam Glover: I was invited, but I have a conflict.

Forrest Mosten: Okay.

Sam Glover: I’ll be in Disneyland.

Forrest Mosten: Okay, well no one could ever compete with Disneyland. I understand it. Unbundling will always be there but being at Disneyland on a special trip, especially with children is priceless.

Sam Glover: Are there any pitfalls that lawyers should look out for? Things that they can get into trouble with unbundling?

Forrest Mosten: Of course, just like in any practice. Only handle what they’re competent to handle. Don’t do things that you’re not comfortable with or capable of. For example, if somebody comes in with one day to go with a huge summary judgment motion or other big task, the answer is I’m sorry, had you only come in two weeks ago, I would’ve been glad to help you. I can’t do it now. There is no pass for malpractice for the work that lawyer takes on and there shouldn’t be. They are required to serve the public with a reasonable standard care and it doesn’t matter whether they’re unbundled or they’re full service. Where it benefits is that because there is a written agreement and there must be a written agreement, that’s another pitfall is that if a lawyer just gets so busy to start helping, they don’t have a written, a limited scope agreement which is required for informed consent then there could be problems down the road.

Sam Glover: You alluded to one of the other problems earlier which is same thing, which is accidentally getting yourself into full representation by entering an appearance without getting your limited scope appearance approved beforehand or talking to opposing council as if you’re the full scope lawyer when you don’t mean to be doing that. That’s another one, is you always want to be clear with everyone involved that you are doing the role that you’re doing and you’re not their full service lawyer.

Forrest Mosten: That’s absolutely true. I’d also say that if in fact you can have a state or the state is able to get these pre-approved, judicially approved forms, that is the gateway. It’s the protection for the public and for the lawyers.

Sam Glover: Although I’ve always said, if you have a client and you really want to help them and you have to in for a criminal defense hearing, for example, which is in our state at least, notoriously difficult to get out of a case, what I’ve told people to do is walk in there with your motion for a limited scope appearance and deal with that first.

Forrest Mosten: Well, that’s right. The practice is most lawyers will do that. They do not want to be stuck in on a case and criminal defense though, has often it’s special role. We’ve been discussing limited scope for civil not for criminal.

Sam Glover: And in bankruptcy it sounds like unbundled is almost dirty word. Bankruptcy courts accuse lawyers of trying to have an unbundled representation and sometimes.

Forrest Mosten: It’s changing though. Now many jurisdictions are encouraging it because if there’s one place where people don’t have a lot of money, it’s bankruptcy court. There is a problem you should know in some immigration courts who won’t permit unbundling but that a whole different policy and political issue that we won’t get into here.

Sam Glover: On balance, most judges, most courts in most proceedings would rather have a lawyer helping to speed things along with competent help than to have a pro se person who isn’t knowledgeable or experienced and is just doing their best, usually the help from a lawyer is going to make it easier to move things along and get the thing done.

Forrest Mosten: You’re so right, Sam. I call it the shoebox problem where somebody comes into court with a shoebox full of receipts and they have reimbursements or payments that they want to show the judge and the judge says, “And so Mr. X, could you please just tell me how much money you’re asking for?” And they start pawing through this box and everybody’s watching, the judge gets impatient and of course you’re not going to get all that you’re entitled to. But if you went to a lawyer who even used a paralegal or lower cost associate to go through that box before the hearing to put it into a chart and or a notebook with all the receipts and make one copy for the judge and one for the other side and one for the client, the client’s then good to go and they can present their case very, very well.

Judges also are very uncomfortable about leaning over and trying to protect one side against the other. Some will do it in a very, very nice way but never enough. The research is very, very clear that while judges believe that they will intervene and give the word is, deference to the unrepresented, that the results of someone being unrepresented are catastrophic. It’s not a fair fight. Everyone does better with a lawyer.

Sam Glover: By way of moving to a close here, where should lawyers go for a resource if they want to learn more about how to do unbundling services? Besides Lawyerist, obviously.

Forrest Mosten: If you realize that is a unpaid softball because my new book is just been released in the last month called, Unbundle Legal Services, a family lawyer’s guide, and people can get it off of my website and it’s published by the ABA.

Sam Glover: Fantastic, we’ll definitely include that link in the show notes and you’ve also given us a white paper, a checklist of yours, with tips for starting an unbundled practice and I really appreciate that. Thanks for being on the podcast today. Thanks for talking about unbundled services and I hope we’ll hear more from you soon.

Forrest Mosten: My pleasure, Sam. Thank you for having me on.

Aaron Street: Make sure to catch next week’s episode of The Lawyerist podcast by subscribing the show in your favorite podcast app. And please leave a rating to help other people find our show. You can find the notes for today’s episode on lawyerist.com/podcast.

Sam Glover: The views expressed by the participants are their own and are not endorsed by Legal Talk Network. Nothing said in this podcast is legal advice for you.

Podcast #143: The Past, Present, and Future of Unbundled Legal Services, with Forrest Mosten was originally published on Lawyerist.com.

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